Only If Someone Knew
by bringmesomepie-182
Summary: Tom Delonge has mental problems...he ends up killing a guy and is sentenced to a mental institution and meets a few people...He has a major crush on Mark Hoppus... his roommate Gerard Way and Frank Iero and him meet Jared Leto ...Tom doesn't have the courage to talk to Mark until...He will have to choose between Jared or Mark...will his choice effect the people around him?
1. Chapter 1 - Just the Beginning

Four Years ago

Have you ever felt like something about you wasn't right? Like there was something missing from you but you couldn't understand what it was? Well then you're like me or you were like me. If you don't understand what I'm saying then you should just listen.

I'm someone you don't want to know. I'm different but in ways the same as everyone. Everyone fears things. It's natural. I'm tall enough to be normal. I have eyes that don't get noticed. I have a smile that never shows itself. My hair rarely gets treated. My wrist are covered in blood. The blood spread across the bathroom floor. I'm gasping for breath. Everybody has already gone to class. I'm regretting my choice. I struggle to move. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. I try to yell for help but all that come out is air. I try to pull myself up but I fall down to the ground. I hear someone in the hallway. I hit y hand on the ground hard. I kept hitting the ground until they came towards the bathroom.

"Hello?"

I hit the floor with my hands. He knocked on the stall He was in. He looked under the stall and saw the big puddle growing. The stall was locked. He quickly crawled under the stall and unlocked it. He grabbed me and dragged me out of the bathroom.

"Help me. Help me please?" he yelled.

The teacher closest to the bathroom came running out of her room.

"Go get the nurse. Call 911." He yelled.

I'm gasping for breath. "Stay with me. The paramedics should be here any minute now." He said.

The nurse ran with bandages. The guy wrapped the slits with gauzes tightening them really tight to clot the blood. The paramedics came quickly. I couldn't get a good breath. They put a mask over me and forced air into my lungs.

"What is this boy's name?" The paramedic asked.

The guy shook his head. He didn't know me. He helped me anyway. Only if I knew who he was. Only if he knew me.

I have a record. I have done this before. They sent me to the hospital.

"Mr. Delonge, explain to me why you slit your wrist in the restroom the other day." Dr. Urie said.

"Like I said last time, I can't you." I said. "Why can't you tell me, Tom?" Dr. Urie said.

"Dr. Urie. I didn't do this. I swear. It wasn't me." I said.

"Tom, since the last time you told us you didn't try to kill yourself at school, we installed cameras videotaping every bathroom, hallway, classroom, and stairways. I am going to watch this and see if what you're saying is the truth." He said.

"Believe me, please. I didn't try to kill myself. Someone did this to me." I said.

"I wish I could believe you, Tom, but this is the fourth time in the last two months that this has happened. We are just taking precautions. Tom, do you know who did this to you then?" Dr. Urie asked.

"Why can't you just believe me, Dr. Urie? I didn't try to kill myself. Somebody forced me into the bathroom and slit my wrists and let me bleed." I said.

" I think you should go home and we will talk in the morning. I will be at your house at 9. See you there." Dr. Urie said.

I walked out of the hospital and got into the car waiting for me. I'm a senior. I got kicked out of my parents' house. I live with my lover in a house we bought together. We love living together. We can fuck all night long and no one to worry about coming in or to keep quiet for.

"Hey, babe." Billie said.

"Hey, B. I'm sorry you had to drive all the way out here to get me." I said.

"Tom, this is the fourth time in two months, or seven times in the past three months. I can't keep coming back to the hospital day in and day out. What happened this time? Dr. Urie told me a guy found you in the guys bathroom stall bleeding with slit wrist. The same as the other times before. I'm getting sick of you trying to kill yourself. You better tell me what happened? It better not be that someone tried to kill you." Billie said pulling into the driveway.

"Billie, you have to believe me. I wouldn't kill myself. I have you. I have Dallon, Skye, Iian, Spencer, and many other friends. My life is good right now." I said unlocking the door.

"We'll see tomorrow when Dr. Urie gets here." Billie said walking inside and putting his stuff down

"You don't think I'm crazy do you?" I asked.

I ask that question a lot. I don't think I'm crazy. There is really someone trying to kill me. HE is a very sly person. He has never been caught on camera. Somehow, he manages to come and try to kill me. His name is Scott. Scott come and talks to me at night. I scream in terror until Billie calms me down hours later. It's been happening more and more. Ray on the other hand is the good one. He tells me stories about bands and other people he visits. I haven't told anbody about either of them. I talk to Ray a lot. He mostly comes when Billie is gone.

Billie and I went to bed around 1 in the morning that night. We got a couple hours of sleep before Billie woke me up extremely horny.

We fucked for a couple hours before the doorbell rang. It was Dr. Urie. WE threw on some clothes and answered the door. He didn't look happy.

"Mr. Delonge, we looked over the footage and no one went into the bathroom at the time you were bleeding. Yes people went into the bathroom but they came out shortly after. Then you enter. I boy came in and dragged you out. Tell me who did this to you?" Dr. Urie asked.

"I'm telling you I didn't try to kill myself. It was Scott. He did this to me." I said.

"Tom, there isn't anybody at Poway High, whose name is Scott." Billie said.

"How did you know? You graduated two years ago." I said.

"Tom, I still have friends that go there. No one has ever talked about a Scott at the school who has beef with you." Billie said rubbing my back.

"I'm telling you Scott tried to kill me." I said.

"You are acting like you know this Scott. Mr. Delonge, is this the same Scott from other times before?" Dr. Urie said writing something on his clipboard.

"Yes this is. He has tried many times to kill me but failed. I'm not safe." I said.

"You are talking crazy, Tom." Billie said.

I saw Scott in the corner of my eye. He never comes when other people are near. He walked up to Billie with a knife. I grabbed the gun we hide under the couch and shot the gun. It hit Billie in the forehead. Billie was dead instantly.

I looked up to Dr. Urie. "Scott killed Billie." I said.

"Billie, don't leave me. Scott killed you. I'm sorry. He is pure evil." I said rubbing his face. Billie's eyes were wide open. He had a shocked look on his face. His mouth was slightly open. That's when they sent me here. Hazelnut Valley minimum security metal institution. They have a name for people like me. I'm paranoid and self-destructive.


	2. Chapter 2 - Life at Hazelnut Valley

Four years later

"So everybody, how has your week been? I know we have had some trouble throughout this week. I know we can all talk them out and discuss the better way to act on those problems." Said Dr. Milicevic.

Dr. Milicevic, the head doctor at Hazelnut Valley Mental institution. Dr. Milicevic have gotten really close in the last four years. I call him Dr. Tomo. He doesn't care. I'm not much for sharing my feelings but I do sometimes.

"Tom, do you wanna speak today?" Dr. Tomo asked.

I looked around at the people who I am dominant over and the people who fear me. I am the leader of this place. Four years being here and I am the leader. I looked back at D. Tomo and shook my head.

"How about you Mike?" Dr. Tomo asked.

Sessions are like that once a week. Dr. Tomo asks people if they wanna talk and they or don't that last usually an hour or more. I hate sessions. Once we get out I walk to my room.

"Tom, I heard from Dr. Adkins that we are getting another person." My roommate Gerard said.

"I don't care, Gerard, just get over here." I said.

I have to admit I feel like a man whore at times. In the entire institution I think I have slept with most of the guys here. Gerard is my most recent bitch. HE is so desperate to get fuck that he came running to me. There is one guy I have fucked in this place. He won't even look at me. He knows that I own this place and he is smart to don't get on my bad side. His name is Mark. Mark Hoppus. I don't know how he got into Hazelnut Valley but I do know you can tell he's not right in the head. I see him all the time. He sits in chairs with his knees up to his face and his eyes peaking up over them. I have never heard him talk. His eyes are a mix of green and blue. They are beautiful. He sits right beside Dr. Tomo in ever session. I think he only talks to Dr. Tomo.

"Tom, quit daydreaming. I need you to fuck me hard." Gerard said.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." I said sticking my dick in his ass.

"Then quit thinking. I need to get session out of my head and try to figure out about that new person coming." Gerard said.

"What do you know about this new person?" I asked.

"I know that his name is Frank." Gerard said.

"I know you know more than his name. What does he look like? Is he cute?" I asked.

"Yeah, I saw a picture of him. He is very cute. Do you think when he gets here we can just be friends?" Gerard said.

"Way ahead of you, buddy." I said patting his back. That is my signal that I had came.

"Thanks, but if you want we could still make out. If you want." Gerard said.

I had zoned out again. I started thinking about Mark. He doesn't know me yet I know him. That sounds creepy. I should talk to him. He might get scared. He has been here for almost a year and I have never spoke to him.

"Tom? Are you listening to me?" Gerard said.

"Yeah, we can make out whenever you want." I replied.

"Are you think about Mark?" he said.

I nodded. "Tom, go talk to him, Introduce you. He would like that. I have only talk to him once and that was Hi. He didn't reply back." Gerard said. I nodded and he walked out of the room. I laid down and soon it was dinner.

The Frank guy hadn't arrived yet so me and Gerard walked into the dining room hand and hand. We grabbed our normal dinner meal and ate at our normal table that nobody sat at but us.

"So, Dr. Tomo says I'm improving. He says that I'm not as paranoid as I was three weeks ago. He also says that soon the monster might go away. The monster might realize they don't want me. Isn't that great?" Gerard said.

I was in another place. I saw him. Mark. He sat at the table he normally sits at…by himself. Like always his knees were up to his chin. I watched him use a fork, moving his food around. He would stop after a few moment and take a sip of water. He was so beautiful. I don't know how long I had but staring before Gerard slapped me.

"Oh my Gosh, Tom!" he yelled.

"What?" I replied whipping my head back.

"That's him. That's Frank." Gerard said.

"Wave him over here than, and talk to him." I said.

Gerard frantically waved his arms back and forth to get Franks attention. Frank stared at us and Gerard yelled. "Hey, come sit over here." I buried my head in my head because my face was turning redder than a tomato. Frank slowly made his way over here. He was shy.

"Hey there. I'm Gerard and this is Tom." Gerard said over-excited.

"I'm Frank." He said quietly.

"Nice to meet you, Frank. So why are you in this hell hall?" Gerard blurted.

"I just met you. It's a little personal." Frank said.

"That is Gerard for ya. He gets very personal. How about you to talk and get to know each other? I'll go talk to other people." I said.

Gerard leaned over and kissed my lips.

"You two are a thing?" he said.

I walked away and heard Gerard say. "I think we are going to break up. I just don't think we are good together." I smirked.

I was going to do it. I was going to walk over to Mark and start a conversation with him. Why is this so hard? He is just s person. A very good looking person. I walked over to his table. I looked into his eyes, which were planted on me. He didn't look scared or fearful, but curious and calm and a hint of glee.

"Hi." I said. "Can I sit here?"

He nodded but his eyes never left mine. He didn't even blink. I kept thinking that his eyes must be so dry. I didn't think he would blink until I left. I blinked and I saw Mark close his eyes slowly and kept them closed for a few moments. I was freaking out. I didn't know if he wanted me to leave or to stay until he opened his eyes. I stayed still. I didn't move a fraction an inch. I held my breath. I let out my breath and he opened his eyes.

"Um…I'm Tom." I said.

He just stared at me. His big blue eyes stated into my soul and burned like acid. I couldn't look away. He just looked at me. I could tell in his eyes he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. I was going to wait until he said something so I could speak. I think we sat there forever. I didn't think he would say anything. I think we sat there for five minutes in silence.

"How long have you been in this place?" I asked. I knew he would have to answer using his words instead of a head shake or nod.

"I have been here for four years. Four long year. I came here Right after graduation. Everyone had gone to their homeroom to talk about the "future". I got attacked by a guy named Scott. HE slit my wrists and threw me in the guy bathroom. He had done that seven times before and never got caught. Scott came to my house and shot my deceased boyfriend, Billie. My doctor sent me here and now four years have pasted and Dr. Tomo says it's going to be a long time before they will ever think about letting me leave. Why are you here?" I explained.

His eyes were wide, like he had been waiting for someone to have an actual conversation with him. I wanted him to say something. Anything at all.

"Just a year." Mark Said.

It was muffled because of his knees were in the way.

I looked confused. "How long?" I asked.

Mark moved his legs down to the ground.

"I have been here for just a year." He repeated.

"Why?" I asked.

He looked down at the ground. It was like he was ashamed to tell anyone what he did. I knew that feeling. It's hard to tell someone what you did or what you have that makes you "crazy". I felt like I didn't do those things but Dr. Tomo told me that my mind closes off the truth and tells me what I saw. I don't care anymore.

"I was forced to do it. Many times." Mark said.

"Forced to do what?" I asked.

"Kill people." Mark said looking at me with those big blue eyes once again.


	3. Chapter 3 - Changes at Hazelnut

That's why Mark is in here. He was forced to kill people. How many people? Why? Who told him to do that? I didn't care. I finally talked to Mark. I walked to my room with a big smile on my face. I decided I was going to sit in the media room with the others for a while. I'm glad a did. Two of the big orderly walk into the lobby. They were carrying a guy around my age by the arms. The guy was freaking out.

"Shannon! I'm sorry. I can fix things." He yelled.

He tried to get away from the two orderlies. They weren't moving. He swung his body everywhere. He's clothes were ripped and his hair was a mess. He had crazy blue eyes. There was blood on the side of his face and on his shirt and hands. Two nurse ran over to him. One had a needle in her hand. One nurse straightened the guy's arm. The guy is freaking out. The nurse with the needle stuck the needle right into the guy's arm and he instantly went limp.

The orderly who had the needle walked into the room I was in. I think it time for bed. Everyone up and go onto your room and lights out in 30 minutes.

There is a normal occurrence at Hazelnut Valley. Once a week Tre Cool sprint down the halls butt naked screaming that his clothes were shirking. It's a funny sight. I walked past him and entered my room where Gerard was already fast asleep. He had a big smile on his face. I sat on my bed and took off my shoes and I heard someone at the door. I looked over and Mark was standing there.

"Hi?" I exhaled.

"Can I talk with you?" he said.

"Sure, come in." I said.

"No, in my room." He said.

I got up and walked down the halls bare foot. I looked into the room of other patient and the ones who saw knew that mark had finally talked. By my face they knew not to try to talk to Mark unless he talked to him. He walked into his room. I was right behind him. He sat on his bed and I stood in front of him.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. When I told you why I came here. " he said.

"Why should you be sorry? There is nothing you should be sorry for. So you killed some people. "I said.

"It wasn't my fault. I didn't want to kill them. I was forced." Mark panicked.

"It's okay. That's why you are here. To get help and comfort for what happened." I reinsured him.

"Thank you. What was that noise in the lobby? I heard someone yelling." Mark asked.

"We have an expected new patient here at Hazelnut valley. I don't know why he is here but he seem a little insane." I smiled.

Mark smirked. He laid down on his bed. He looked at me and patted the side of the bed like he wanted me to lay there with him. I shook my head and smiled. I walked out of the room. I came across the new guy's room. He was knocked out on his bed. They had cleaned him and changed him before they laid him in that bed. He didn't look as crazy anymore. I heard someone walking in my direction. I turned my head and Dr. Tomo was walking towards me.

"Tom, it's lights out. You need to get to your room." He said.

"Who is that guy? I saw him enter through the lobby with two orderly. What's his name?" I asked.

"That's Jared, Jared Leto. We got a call about an hour ago that a white male, 21, was seen attacking his "friends" with a knife. He stabbed all of them once and ran home screaming or mumbling words. He went home and stabbed his older brother Shannon seven times in the head and three times in the chest. He slit his mother but his father knocked the knife out of his grasp and grabbed Jared until police and paramedics came. Shannon had died instantly. All of the other were fine. The police officers told Jared he killed his brother. Jared ended up kicking the police officer in the head and running off to Shannon "protecting" him from what he said death. They called us and the police officers brought him over and we got him." Dr. Tomo said.

"That's horrible." I said.

"Go to your room. He will be awake tomorrow morning. Hopefully he will be calm by then. Until then you should get your rest." Dr. Tomo said.

I walked to my room and laid down and drifted to sleep.

"Tom, breakfast time." Gerard said jumping on my bed.

"Get off my bed you fag." I smirked.

"Thanks, I heard you talk to Mark. What did you talk about?" he asked.

"Nothing really. Nothing important anyway. What did you and Frank talk about?" I asked.

"Just background basics, you know. Interests, hobbies, favorites, anything like that." Gerard said.

"Interesting. We have a new guy. His name is Jared Leto. He has an interesting story." I said standing in front of the dining hall. I looked around and didn't see the new guy anywhere. I was going to see if he was awake. I started walking away from the dining hall.

"Tom, the dining hall is this way." Gerard said.

"I'll be there in a second I'm looking for something." I said.

I ran down the halls to Jared's room. He was sitting up. He was confused. His eyes were slightly less crazy than they were last night. He hadn't seen me yet.

"So you're the new guy I heard about?" I said propping myself on the side of the doorway.

"Who are you? Where am I?" he said.

"This, my friend, is Hazelnut Valley Minimum Security Mental Institution. I am Tom Delonge." I said.

"I'm Jared Leto. What happened last night?" He asked.

"You don't remember what you did?" I asked.

"I was protecting my brother, Shannon. What happened after I walked in here?" He asked.

"You didn't walk in here. You were drug in here by two big men. They knocked out with a sedative. It's 9 in the morning. Everyone is going to breakfast." I said.

"You know why I'm here, but why are you here?" Jared said.

"I'm a paranoid and self-destructive person. Doctors think I tried to kill myself multiple times then they think I killed a guy." I said.

Jared got up and walked over to me. He had a handsome face. He was shorter than me. He looked up at me. I could tell he worked out.

"Can you show me to the dining hall?" he asked.

I nodded. I couldn't believe it. I think this Jared guy is flirting with me now. I had forgotten my feelings for Mark. That upset me but all I could think about was Jared walking close beside me.

Jared stopped me right before we got in the dining hall. He stood in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Tom, I am starting to have feeling that I have never had before. I know we just met, but are you gay?" he asked.

"I am. How did you know?" I asked.

"I didn't know. I am just…I think…this might seem crazy…but I think I like you." Jared said.

"Oh, well, I am…" I said. I swear m face was turning red. I could feel my face get warm.

"Who are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Nobody." I replied quickly.

"There is somebody else. Isn't there?" he asked.

"I just met you. I'm sorry." I said.

Jared just looked at me and kissed me. I knew I was blushing. I smiled and kissed him back. He was blushing. I had completely forgotten about Mark. I didn't care. Mark never talked to me anyway or didn't talk to me. What have I done?


	4. Chapter 4 - Him or Him?

I skipped breakfast with Jared and decided to go outside and sit in the grass. I laid in the grass as Jared walked around me. He was thinking hard about something. I couldn't figure out if that was bad or good. He was walking quickly around me that I thought he would get dizzy. I realized that I hadn't been outside in a good three years. The last time I came outside Scott attacked me. I looked around and Scott was nowhere to be found. I closed my eyes. I heard Jared lay on the grass beside me. I turned my head and opened my eyes. Jared's eyes were wide open looking at me.

"So who tried to kill you?" Jared asked.

"His name is Scott. No matter where I hide he finds me. Then he killed my boyfriend. He shot him in the forehead with the gun we hid under the couch." I said.

"That's horrible. Then why are you here if someone else tried to kill you and your deceased boyfriend?" Jared asked.

"They think I did those things. Scott has never been caught on camera. My doctor, before I came here, Dr. Urie, told me that he has records of my talking to myself. I was talking to Ray." I said.

"Who is Ray?" he asked.

"He is my best friend. He tell me all about bands, music, movies, and other people." I said.

He just looked at me. From what I told him I sounded like I was normal. The look in Jared's eyes said I was crazy. He was crazy as well. You could see that in his eyes. I wanted to run inside and tell Gerard. I could move. Jared's stare was burning through me.

"Wanna meet my friends?" I asked.

"Sure?" he said like a just ruined a moment. Crap.

I got up and started walking towards the door. Jared ran up to me and grabbed my hand. We walked in together and I instantly saw Gerard talking with Frank and David. I haven't really talk about David. I will later.

"So, here's a thing you need to know before talking to Gerard. He doesn't think he's crazy. He thinks he's the only normal person in this place. Really he is probably the craziest other than Tre Cool. Gerard thinks that these monster want to steal his soul and burn him at a stake. He was found two years ago tying himself to a tree. He had covered the tree in gasoline and had a lighter in his hand. You will never see Gerard take his shirt off. He thinks that if he does it's easy access for the monsters to get his soul." I explained.

"Did he light the lighter, though?" Jared asked.

"He actually did. He has burn scars going up his legs and on his right side and on the right side of his neck." I said.

"Wow, who would have the balls to do something like that?" Jared asked.

I shrugged what he said off knowing that he had killed his brother. I kept walking towards Gerard.

"So what up the other guys?" Jared asked.

"David has been here for three years now. He thinks he is going to be on TV. He has delusions that he is actually on TV and acts like he is an actor. It's really a funny sight but sometimes it get dangerous. Sometimes he thinks he's on a sitcom and has to kill someone. That's why he is here." I said.

"Wow, there is really crazy people here." Jared said.

I shrugged that off as well. I knew he was going to ask about Frank and frankly I didn't know either. I think only Gerard knew that.

"How about the last guy?" Jared said.

"I don't know. He is new just like you. HE came yesterday afternoon." I said.

That's when we got over to Gerard.

"Hey, Gerard, Frank, David. This is Jared Leto." I said.

"Hey." Jared said.

"Hello, Jared, I'm Gerard, That's Frank, and that's David." Gerard said with a big smile.

"I heard that Frank was a new guy like me." Jared said.

"Yeah. Why are you here?" Frank asked Jared.

"Well…I was protecting my brother." Jared said.

"From what?" Gerard asked.

"Gerard, is that any of your business? Don't ask question that you would answer yourself." I said.

Gerard just looked at me like I was going to pay for that. I didn't care. I just really wanted to know why Frank was here. I doesn't look crazy.

"So why are you here, Frank?" I asked.

"From what Dr. Milicevic says I have an extremely case of OCD and paranoia." Frank said.

"I have paranoia as well." I said high fiving Frank. He smiled.

I looked around and saw Mark sitting by himself looking out the window. I turned back around and saw Gerard and Frank had gone back talking about something unimportant. I looked at Jared who still had a tight grip on my hand and he was staring at me.

"You should meet Mark." I said.

We walked over to him. He didn't notice us there. I had to tap on his shoulder. Mark freaked out. He curled up tighter and stared at us.

"Hey, Mark. How are you?" I asked.

He just stared at me in terror. He doesn't like to be touched. I wanted to say sorry but I didn't really know why I was sorry. Jared loosened his grip on my hand. He didn't let go but I could by not even looking at him that Mark was the guy that I had been thinking about earlier this morning.

"mark, this is Jared Leto. He came in last night. I thought you should meet him. I'm sorry if we scared you." I said.

Mark's eyes looked calmer. I could tell he was going to speak. It seemed like he had trust issues. Is that why he killed people? So one must have taken advantage of him and forced him to kill a whole bunch of people then he had a mental breakdown.

"Nice to meet you, Mark. I'm sorry if a disturbed you last night. From what I was told I was extremely loud." Jared smirked.

I actually thought Mark was hiding a smile. You couldn't see the smile past his knees but you could tell by the way his eyebrow rose and the sparkle in his eye that he had a big smile on his face. Jared and Mark might become good friends. Now the question is, who do I want to be with? I knew Jared liked me. I like Mark but did have feeling for Jared. I'm just lost in Mark's eyes and had no clue of his feelings towards me. Damn, I'm in a pickle.


	5. Chapter 5 - He Attacks

Jared walked off and dragged me with him. Mark was paying attention to us anymore anyway. I didn't know where Jared was going and I didn't think he knew either. I think he just wanted to get away from people. Maybe he wanted to kill me for not liking him. Was he going to kill me? What he going to silently torture me? Will anybody notice if I disappear? I don't wanna die.

"Mark was the guy you were thinking about this morning, wasn't it?" Jared asked calmly.

I nodded, even though Jared was looking in my direction.

"I really like you Tom. I can tell Mark doesn't have those same feelings for you as you have for him." Jared said stopping in front of us room.

"Can we just be friends until we get to know each other more, Jared? I like you but I wanna get to know you better." I said.

He looked down at the ground. He understood. He knew that I would never stop having feeling for Mark. I knew in the back of my mind that Mark might never have feeling for me though. What if he hates me?

"What was your brother, Shannon like?" I asked.

"He was my old brother. I looked up to him. He told me that he would always protect me from danger. The night the police officers told me that Shannon had died I ran up into his room. He was not dead. He couldn't be. Someone had stabbed him multiple times. I put my ear to his chest and didn't hear a heartbeat. I knew he was running towards the light. I tried to get him to run away from it. I swear I thought he was coming back. I had to protect him from the dangers he had warned me about when I was younger. That's when the officers pulled me away from him and all those dangers Shannon told me about attacked him and he was gone." Jared said.

I felt sorry for Jared. He was definitely insane. I could never tell him that. It was upset him more than he already was. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I had to tell him something that meant I wanted to be left alone for just a little while. Jared had turned around and walked into his room. I stood propped on the doorway. He sat on his bed. I saw something in the corner of my eye run down the hall. I turned my head and saw nothing. I felt something behind me. I turned around and there stood Scott. He had gotten through the guard and security and somehow made his way inside with anybody noticing. I ran down the hall in pure terror. I ran into my room and hid under my bed.

Scott found me. He dragged me out from underneath the bed and through me up against the wall and he closed the door and locked it. He had his knife. He pressed it up against my stomach. I grabbed his hand holding the knife. Scott took the knife and stretched out my arms. He put the knife higher than he had any time before. He slit one side and then the other. When he slit them I screamed both times. Scott heard people running. He kicked me in the head and I fell to the ground. I watched the blood spread on the ground like all the other times.

"Tom, what's going on in there? We hear you screaming. Unlock the door now. It's Dr. Milicevic." Dr. Tomo said.

The blood was s[reading quicker this time. I could feel my throat tightening up again. I was taking short choppy breaths. More people were by the door.

"Tom, you need to open the door. We are here to help you, not hurt you." Gerard said.

I wish I could yell or something to tell them I couldn't get up. It was starting to feel like four years ago. Scott was still in the room. He watched me bleed with a big smile on his face. He kicked me once more in the head and then one in the stomach. I get out a loud groan. I started coughing loudly gasping for air. Scott his in the corner and the door flung open. Jared had kicked it open. There goes my lock on the door privileges. Dr. Tomo walked over to me and pulled out gauzes from his pocket. He wrapped the gauzes around my arms and picked me up. I'm a pretty tall guy. The fact that Dr. Tomo could lift me up was a surprise. I had no strength at all to hold my body up. I was just limp in Dr. Tomo grasp. My head was as far back as it could go. Everything was upside down. I could see Gerard and Frank walking slightly behind Dr. Tomo hand and hand. They had worried/scared faces. There was somebody directly beside me. I'm guessing it was Jared because he was the one who knocked down the door.

Dr. Tomo took me to the infirmary to check me out and get some fluids in me. I was extremely weak. Weaker than any other time that that had happened. It really scared me this time. I never went unconscious. I saw Gerard and Frank were there and so was Jared. Jared was really worried about me. I felt sorry for him. He just witnessed Scott attacking me. He would now think I'm crazy. He had a very worried look on his face.

"Tom, what happened? You were doing so well. You hadn't had a meltdown a good two years." Dr. Tomo said.

"Scott found me. I went outside and somehow Scott got inside." I said.

"Scott isn't here, Tom. Think clearly." Dr. Tomo said.

"I am thinking clearly. HE was here and tried to kill me." I yelled.

"Get some rest here tonight. It's just to get your strength back." Dr. Tomo replied walking out of the infirmary.

"You really scared us, buddy." Gerard said.

"It really scared me too. So you and Frank are a thing?" I asked.

He smiled and Frank's face turned bright red. I smirked.

"Have fun you two love birds. I will be at breakfast tomorrow. " I said as they walked of hand and hand.

Jared was at my bed side. "You really scared me Tom." Jared said.

"Didn't I scared everyone?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I feel like that happened because of me. You told Dr. Milicevic that you went outside and that when Scott found you. I brought you outside. I'm sorry I am the reason he attacked you." Jared explained.

"It wasn't your fault. I needed some fresh air. It felt good being outside for once. I should be apologizing to you. I was teasing you and leading you on about me." I said.

"Teasing me about what? You acting like you like me? I sort of knew you didn't have feelings for me. It just stung a little too heard it out loud. I'll be fine." Jared said.

"I really do like you though, Jared. I just need time. I need to get over Mark. He apparently doesn't give a damn about me. I just need time to heal from that and Finally get over this crush for him." I said.

He smiled. "Get some rest. You really need it." Jared said putting his fingers through my greasy hair. "You need to take a shower." He added.

I laughed and turned my head. "I'll think about it." I said.

He laughed and left me to rest. I had closed my eyes for a moment heard someone walk in. I thought it was Gerard trying check up on me.

"Gerard, I'm fine, let me rest." I smirked.

The footsteps kept growing closer to me. I was starting to get scared. I didn't want to open my eyes but I had too.

"Are you ok? I was worried about you." I heard.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little weak. That's it." I said.

I opened my eyes. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I kept thinking I was my mind playing tricks on me.

"I just wanted to pop in and see if you were ok." He said.

"It's fine, but I'm tired. I will see you tomorrow morning for breakfast." I smiled.

He walked out of the room with a big smile on his face. I'm screwed.


	6. Chapter 6 - Visiting Day

Mark had really just checked up on me. He cared about me enough to see if I was ok. He was worried about me. I couldn't stay in the infirmary all night worrying if this was true. I had to get up.

I realized at that moment that there were two orderlies standing guard so I wouldn't leave until breakfast tomorrow morning. I turned on my side and tried to sleep. I use the term tried very loosely. Once I closed my eyes I was out like a light until I was woken up but an orderly telling me it was 9:30. Hey, I got 30 extra minutes of sleep.

I got up and walked into the dining hall. I saw Gerard at my table with Frank and Jared. They hadn't seen me yet. I turned my head and looked for Mark's table. There he was. Mark was sitting by himself, all alone with his knees up to his nose playing with his eggs. He looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. His eyes lit up. I walked over to Mark.

"Good Morning." I said with a weak smile.

"Did you get a good night sleep?" he asked.

"I did actually. How did you sleep?" I asked.

He looked down at his food. He set his fork down and brought his knees down to the floor. Mark didn't have a good night sleep. I could tell.

"Mark, you didn't any sleep did you?" I asked.

He nodded. He looked up at me. He pushed his plate over to me.

"You have to be hungry. You can have my food." He said.

"I'm not very hungry. You eat the rest. After you eat you should go back to bed. You look exhausted." I said.

I had lied. I was starving. I skipped breakfast, ate very little lunch, and missed dinner last night. I didn't want to eat Mark's food. It didn't feel right. I watched Mark eat. Once he finished. He stood up.

"Hey, go on to bed. I'll see you when you wake up. Alright?" I said.

He smiled and staggered out of the dining hall. Once he was gone I stood up slowly and crept out of the dining hall and re-entered. That's when Gerard, Frank and Jared saw me.

"TOM! OVER HERE!" Gerard yelled.

I walked over to the table. "Gerard, seriously? I have sat this table for four years. Why would I forget after one day to come to his table?" I asked.

"How'd you sleep?" Jared asked.

"Fine, better than I have in a while I should say. How'd you guys sleep?" I repeated the question.

"Once we knew you were ok. I knew I slept well." Gerard said boldly.

"I slept fine." Jared said softly.

"Are you ok, Jared? Something's wrong. I can tell." I said.

Jared had sadness in his eyes. I couldn't tell exactly what was upsetting him. I thought it might b that he still blamed himself for causing Scott to attack me but that didn't seem to fit the emotion in his eyes.

"Today is visiting day. I think my parents are going to pop by." Jared said.

Oh, visiting day. In my opinion it's the worst day of the whole month. Every month somebody comes to here and you can catch up with old times or talk to a relative who has missed you and hopes good news has come up so they know you're getting better. That's not the case with me. I don't even think my parents know I am here. Six years ago I was kicked out of the house and didn't speak to them again. They didn't even come to my graduation, four years ago. I will sometimes have friends come on these visiting days and tell me how there life is great and the jobs they have or how college is while I have a routine on what to do every day of every week of every month of every year. The bright side is that's always nice to see a friendly familiar face every now and then. I wonder if anybody will come to see me this month.

"Do you know your parents are going to show up?" Frank asked.

"I, surely, hope so. I miss them so much. I'm dishonored them. I'm supposed to be working on my second year of college. I was about to leave from vacation back to New York. Shannon was going to leave that night. He was going to fly to California." Jared said.

"It'll be ok. If they don't so up I'll be here for you. I have been here for four years and my parents have never shown their faces here ever." I said.

"Really? Never? Not even once?" Jared asked.

"Tom, thinks his parents don't know he is here because he got kicked out of his parents' house six years ago and never talk to them since." Gerard said.

I'm glad that Gerard is there for me to tell new comers about me that I don't wanna say but I don't care if Gerard says it.

"We should be getting to the media room. The victors will be coming shortly." Gerard said.

We all got up and walked into the media room. Jared grabbed my hand and we sat down beside Gerard and Frank on the couch that can fit like six people. We kept glancing over out the window to see if any familiar faces showed their selves.

"Gerard? Are you going to introduce Frank to your family if they show up?" Jared asked.

"Actually yes, I did the same when I was with Tom." Gerard smiled.

Gerard glanced out the window and saw his mother's face entering the building. His father was shortly behind. Gerard sprung up and ran down the hall to the lobby doors. Behind that door was the entrance door to institution. His father opened the door for Gerard's mother. Mrs. Way saw Gerard and was instantly in tears. Gerard touched the glass with his hand and Mrs. Way lined her hands up with his as they waited for the nurses at window to verify to open the door. There was a loud beep and the door unlocked and Mr. Way opened the door. Gerard stepped back out of the way and they walked into the media room where Jared, Frank and I were. Mrs. Way hugged Gerard tight as tears rolled quickly down her face.

I could see that Mr. Way was on the verge of crying at the sight of his wife so happy to see her son. Mr. Way walked up to Gerard as he let go of his mother. Mr. Way stuck out of hand for a hand shake. Gerard looked at his father for a moment. Instead of giving his father a gentlemen's handshake he pushes the hand aside and hugs his father. His father was dumfounded but realized that Gerard was not just a person in a mental institution but his son.

"Mom, Dad, I missed you so very much." Gerard said.

"Gee, I'm so glad to see you so happy." Mrs. Way said.

"So son, how is Tom doing?" Mr. Way asked.

"Actually, Dad, me and Tom broke up but we are still really good friends. I have a new boyfriend now. His name is Frank. Come and me him." Gerard said.

Gerard walked Mr. and Mrs. Way over to us. They smiled. I could tell they were fake smiles to cover up that their gay son was in a mental institution, hasn't gotten any better after six years, and he is dating another mentally unstable patient here.

"Mom, Dad, This is Frank and Jared and you remember Tom." Gerard said.

"Nice to see you again, Tom." Mrs. Way said staring at the two bandages wrapped around my forearms.

"It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Way and Mr. Way." I replied.

"Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Way, I'm Frank. Gerard boyfriend." Frank said standing up.

"Now, Frank, if you want to date my son I have to ask you a few questions." Mr. Way said.

I should have warned Frank about this. He did the same to me two and a half years ago. Mr. Way ask you why you are here. What Dr. Milicevic diagnosed you with? How long you have been staying here? How well you are doing in sessions? Then he gets personal. How long have you been gay? How long have you been dating, Gerard? How much do you love him? He goes on and on for a while. When Mr. Way and Frank came back all the color was gone from Franks face.

"Gerard, I think Frank is good for you. Other than the reason he is in this place." Mr. Way said.

"Honey, it was great seeing you again. I'm sorry to say this but we won't be able to see you the next visiting day. We will be going on a mission trip with the church. We will ask Mikey if he wants to visit you." Mrs. Way said.

"That's ok. Mikey doesn't have to visit. He probably doesn't want to see me anyway." Gerard said.

"Oh honey, I'll talk to him. Just remember, Gee, We love you. No matter how messed you are, we love you. We will miss you so much." Mrs. Way said.

"Goodbye, son. Get better soon." Mr. way said.

The whole room could that Mr. Way was uncomfortable about his oldest son being in this place. He was happy to see his son but he really didn't know what to say. What Mr. Way said could have come off rude or insulting but to Gerard it was the best thing his father could have ever said. Thy walked out of the building and we waited for the next pair of people. Lot of people came to see their friend to child. It seemed like someone came to see everyone except me, Frank and Jared. I don't' think anybody came to Mark either. Mike's girlfriend came so did Tre, surprisingly. I didn't know David had a girlfriend until about a year ago. He never talk to me about her. To my surprise they are in love. You could read it all over their faces.

Franks Mother came after about an hour since Mr. and Mrs. Way left. She told Frank that Frank's dad was ill and was to sick to leave bed. She didn't stay long. He introduced Gerard to his mother. She was happy for him. She left shortly after that.

"I don't think anybody is going to show up for me." Jared said.

"We have only been sitting here for two hours. We still have another two hours." I said.

After an hour and a half Jared gave up and went to his room. I sat there in the media room alone. Some of Marks friends had come to talk with him. That made me sit by myself waiting for someone to magically appear. I turned and looked out the window and…


	7. Chapter 7 - Why can't they understand?

They were walking into the building so painfully. They were scared and sad at the same time. They stopped at the nurse desk and she let them in and I walked out of the media room. She saw me.

"Thomas." She sighed opening her arms.

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. One I haven't gave her in six years. How did they find out that I was here? I never told them. I didn't think Dr. Tomo told anyone.

"Tom, my boy." He said sticking out his hand.

Unlike Gerard I wasn't going to push away a gentleman's handshake. I looked into his eyes. I was going to cry. Both he and she had dry eyes. I felt the first tear build up in my eyes. It fell slowly down my cheek and one after another after that.

"Mom, Dad." I sobbed. That's all I could get out. I had so many questions but I just couldn't get them out.

"Tom, how have you been?" Mom asked emotionless.

"I have been fine, you?" I said.

"We were worried. We called yours and Billie's house but the number was gone. Your number wasn't in the phone book. We read the newspaper and saw the article about Billie. We found you here. Why'd you do it?" Dad said just as emotionless as Mom.

"Why did I do what?" I asked.

"Don't play stupid, Thomas." Mom said.

"I'm not playing stupid." I said.

"Then why did you shoot Billie and try to kill yourself?" Dad said.

"I didn't try to kill myself or Billie." I said running my fingers through my hair.

I shouldn't have done that. They saw the two bandages wrapped around my forearms. Mom and Dad both grabbed one arm and examined them.

"Did you do this?" Mom asked angrily.

"No." I exclaimed.

"Why are you here? Why are you in a mental institution? That's only for insane loon who should have just been executed to be put out of their misery." Dad said.

"Excuse me? Insane loons? That's my friends you are talking about." I said.

"These aren't your friends. They are crazy people. They think there is people after them or can receive messages from beyond." Dad said.

"Fuck you." I said walking backwards.

"Thomas Matthew Delonge. Don't speak to your father like that." Mom said.

"I am crazy, mom. Can't you see? From what Dr. Milicevic says or what Dr. Urie says I have paranoia and self-destructive schizophrenia. I have people trying to kill me. I have something he wants." I said.

"You're not crazy, Thomas. You are just making this up for attention." Dad said walking towards you.

I saw Scott behind Dad smiling like he planned this. He planned my parents finding me and confronting me. He wants me out of here so he can kill me easier.

"Scott told you to do this, didn't he?" I asked. "He put you up to this?"

They looked confused and angry.

"Tom, You're starting to talk like them." Mom said.

"Talk like who?" I said watching Scott walk closer to me.

"You're starting to talk like these people." Mom said.

"Who are these people?" I said.

"Dammit, Thomas, you're talking like these crazy loons." Dad said.

I stepped back and Scott stated running at me. I ran down the hall and turned into the dining hall. I looked to see if he had followed me. Nobody was behind me. I turned back around and Scott was there. He pushed me to the ground and slid me into a table. I hit my head pretty hard. I could feel a warm liquid run down the side of my face. I got up and ran out of the dining hall and down the hall. I stop at times to see if Scott was behind me. I saw Mom and Dad down the hall. They didn't even move. I looked down at my feet and there was a trail of blood from the dining hall. As I looked down at my feet Scott caught up to me and slammed the side of my head to the wall. I fell to the ground. I know for a fact Mom and Dad saw that. I caught I glance of what they were doing. A nurse was making them leave. She had noticed that they were upsetting me. Dr. Tomo jogged over to me. I had a pretty deep scrap on my forehead and a for sure bruise on my head. Other than that I was fine.

"Don't let them come into here again." I said looking at Dr. Tomo.

"Why, Tom? They are your parents." He asked.

"They stopped being my parents when they kicked me out of their house six years ago." I replied.

Dr. Tomo helped me up and I walked down the halls. I came across Jared room. I walked over to the doorway and stayed there until he noticed. He had been crying. He was upset that no one came to see him. I don't think he realized that he stabbed his friends, scrapped his mother, kicked a police officer, and killed his brother. I wish I could make him happy. I walked into his room and closed the door. He instantly looked up. I walked over to him and sat beside him on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"No one showed up." He replied.

I didn't reply. I was hoping he would realize why no one showed up. I knew he wouldn't. I decided to do something to get his mind off his family. I leaned in and kissed him. My hands touched his face so gently. Jared slid his hands up my body and ran his finger through my hair. He laid down on the bed and I laid beside him. I wanted to fuck him so bad but he was too fragile at the moment. I didn't want to hurt him. He took my hand and put his fingers between mine. I turned my head to look at him. He was memorized at my hand with his hand. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but I knew I really helped him.

"Thank you." Jared said.

"What?" I replied.

"Thank you for laying here with me. I really needed it." He said.

"It was nothing. I really wanted to see you. I wanted to talk with you. My parents came today. I hated every moment of it. They were calling everyone in here an insane loon. I hate them so much." I said still looking at the side of his face.

He turned his head to look at me. I finally got his attention. His eyes were filled with questions. Out of all the questions this is what he said. "Why did you choose me to talk to instead of Gerard, Frank or Mark?"


	8. Chapter 8 - Meeting the Parents

Honestly, I didn't know why I decided to go to Jared. Maybe something was telling me that Jared was who I need to go to. He seemed hurt and needed to have someone there for him.

"I thought you needed someone to talk too." I said

"I think you needed someone to talk too. So you came to me. Why? You have said plenty of times. You just want to be friends. Now I feel like you are teasing me. Don't think I didn't notice you this morning. I saw you walk in. I noticed you walk over to Mark and talk. He offered you his breakfast. You declined and watched him eat. You were so memorized on him eating and you watched him stagger down the hall. You left the dining hall and came back in because you thought we didn't see you with Mark. Gerard and Frank might not know what's going on but I do. It's time to stop teasing me. Is it me or Mark?" Jared said.

"Jared, I told you that this is just a crush I have had for a very long time. It wasn't until the night you came here that he even started talking to me." I said.

"Is it going to me, you know I like you. Is it going to be Mark, you don't know if he likes you?" Jared explained.

"I can't answer that yet. I don't even know if mark is gay." I said.

"Then be with me. Then you wouldn't have to worry. Mark isn't right for you. He has barely talked to you." Jared said.

I sat up. I didn't know how to answer. I wanted Mark to like me so bad that I was teasing Jared. I think I should give up with Mark. I wouldn't be hurting anybody. I turned and looked at Jared who was sitting up. I leaned in and right before we kissed we heard a very high pitch scream come from the lobby. A girl. WE don't very much girls here a Hazelnut Valley Minimum Security Mental Institution. Jared looked at me and we both got up. WE looked out Jared doorway and saw everything that was going on.

"Stop, let me go. " She yelled pulling away from the guards.

She looked familiar. I had seen her somewhere, but where? Then it hit me.

"Skye?" I said loudly.

Her head turned in my direction. She didn't notice my face. I hadn't seen her in four years. Some of my friends told me she had changed. Some said she had moved away. Other said she stayed up in new apartment. It was Travis who told me that she seemed little nuts. I laughed when he said that because I was supposedly nuts.

"Skye." I repeated.

"What?" She yelled angrily.

"Skye, it's me Tom." I said.

"Who? I haven't heard of a Tom since high school." Skye said.

"It's Tom Delonge. We went to high school together. Don't you remember me?" I said walking slowly in her direction.

She seemed confused. It was like she had completely forgotten of my existence. It was like she never met me before. I was a new face in her eyes. Skye was one of my best friends. We did everything together. We had a whole bunch of joke we shared and knew everything about each other. How could she have forgotten me?

"Tom?" She said like she remembered me.

"Yeah?" I replied back

"It's really you? It's been years." She said jogging over to me.

She didn't look even well. I wonder why my best friend was sent here?

"Why are you here?" I asked. I saw Dr. Tomo walking up to me and Skye.

"Hello Tom, I see you have met Skye Everly." Dr. Tomo said.

"Actually, Dr. Tomo we have already met before. WE went to high school together." I said.

Dr. Tomo's eyes looked fearful. That scared me a little. Why was he worried? What did Skye do? How long had she been in another mental institution and moved here? Was she going to kill me? I looked around and Scott wasn't anywhere to be seen. He wasn't up to this.

"I will talk to you before session, Tom." Dr. Tomo said walking away with Skye.

I walked back over to Jared. He was confused about the whole thing. I don't think he heard the conversation I had with Skye. All he knows is that I probably know that girl and that Dr. Tomo took her away.

"Who was she?" He asked.

"An old high school friend of mine." I said.

"Wow, I would have never thought that someone that someone else knew from the outside world would end up here with us." Jared said in a confused way of putting it. I under stood what he meant. Skye is someone I knew from the "outside world". I never thought I would ever see her here with me in a mental institution. I just looked and Jared and smirked.

"What's her name?" he asked.

"Skye Everly." I said.

"She seemed a little tipsy." Jared smirked.

I laughed. "Yeah, classic Skye. Come in somewhere drunk."

"We should head to lunch before session." Jared said

He touched my hand but then slowly put it to his side and sighed. I looked at him. He was looking down at the ground. He started walking when I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. I kissed him gently and wrapped my hands around his waist. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He was burning through me like acid. His hands covered his mouth. I could tell in his eyes that he wanted to smile. I saw him look in another direction behind me. I turned around and there was a man and woan staring at us down the hall.

"Mom, Dad?" Jared whispered.

I didn't know why Jared's parents were here because visiting hours were over, I think. He ran over to them, dragging me along with them. He quickly let go of my hand and fell into his mother's arms.

"I'm so sorry, Mama." Jared said.

"It's ok, honey, you barely scraped me." She said.

"I was just protecting Shannon from the dangers." Jared said.

"I know, honey. You didn't mean to hurt anybody. Shannon doesn't need protection anymore." She said.

Jared's Dad didn't have the emotionless face my father had painted on. I was happy for Jared. He actually got to see his parents again. I stood there awkwardly as Jared slowly hugged both his parents. Jared glanced in my direction.

"Mom, Dad, this is Tom." He said.

I smiled I gave a slight nod.

"Tom is my boyfriend." Jared said.

That's when his parents faces began to change. I think Jared just now came out of the closet. His parents never knew. It's a good thing there as actually a couple of girl at this place that are pretty attractive even for a gay guy.

"Jared, are you saying you're gay?" his mom said.

Jared nodded.

"This man is your boyfriend?" Jared's Dad asked.

Hey, I'm a man.

"Yes, Mom and Yes, Dad. Tom is my boyfriend." He said proudly.

They looked at each other and looked back at Jared with a smile on their face. It was a sincere smile and not a painted on smile like my parents would have done. I could tell in their eyes that they were confused and shocked but somewhere in their eyes they were happy for Jared.

"Honey, I'm going to be honest with you. We never thought a handsome man like yourself would ever be gay. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I am 100% happy with your decision. I can tell you that this is probably the happiest I have ever seen you in a long time. If Shannon was here he would have a big smile on his face. I think Tom makes you really happy. Give me some time. Remember honey, I will always love you no matter what." Jared's mom said.

Jared's Mom looked at me and I could see she was about to burst into tears. Jared walked into the media room with his father. Jared's mom stayed with me. She couldn't get any words out but I knew she wanted to say something. I didn't know what to say. What Mrs. Leto did say surprise the shit out of me.


	9. Chapter 9 - Breaking Down

"Have you and Jared done anything…sexual?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. We haven't. I would never do that until we thought we were ready." I replied.

"Good, So, Tom. How long have you been…dating Jared?" she asked awkwardly.

"Just a few days. Mrs. Leto you don't have to worry about me and Jared. I'm not going to do anything to him." I said.

"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about Jared." She said.

How many times has he been in and out of mental institution? How long was he going to be here before he would be transferred again? What was Mrs. Leto worried about? Was Jared more deadly than I thought he was?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, We thought Jared was different ever since he turned six or seven. Shannon told him about these dangers. Shannon never told us what these dangers were. All that we know is that these dangers want to attack people. If we aren't protected the dangers will get us. WE have tried to ask Jared what these dangers are but he says that is the number one way to get attacked by the dangers. HE says that Shannon was lucky when he told Jared. We thought we had everything under control. For years he would have an outburst of pure terror and attack people staying he was protecting them from the dangers. When he first started we shrugged it off because he was seven or eight. We began to worry when he started doing it in middle school. WE sent him to therapy in 9th grade and that didn't work. It helped and soon we thought he was better but in 11th grade it started back again and faded away at the end of 12th. We thought he was ready for college so we let him go. We never got a call about anything bad happening there. He came back at the end of the year for vacation and he was going ot hang out with his friends. It was late when we saw on the news that a young male was seen in the middle of the streets with a knife. He had blood on his clothes and on the knife. That's when he burst through the door. He ran up the stairs and we heard Shannon scream once then nothing but the sound of Jared knife stabbing Shannon. He ran down the stairs but I blocked the door when he slit my side, missing because his father grabbed him and I too the knife. His father held him in his arm until the police arrived where Jared kicked the officer and ran upstairs back into Shannon's where he was trying to protect Shannon from those dangers. That's why he's here." Mrs. Leto explained.

"You're scaring me, Mrs. Leto." I said.

"Tom, I want you to do something for me." She said.

I just stared at her. She was dead serious. What did she want me to do? Did she want me to kill Jared? It seems logical. "OK?" I mumbled.

"Try to figure out what the dangers are. Since he is dating you he might open up to you. Could you please try?" she looked straight into my eyes. Jared has his mother's eyes. I nodded and she smiled. That's about the time when Jared and his father came back over to us.

"We should go, Constance." Mr. Leto said.

Jared looked upset but ok at the same time. I walked over to him and touched his shoulder. He didn't look at me. "Jared, we love you and we will see you soon." Mrs. Leto said.

Jared nodded. He had half smile. They left. Jared turned his whole body at me. He had been crying. He was still crying. His eyes were puffy but so soft.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I am happy my parents came but sad they left." Jared lied.

I wrapped my arms over his arms and put my chin on his head, since he was shorter than me.

"Tell me what's really upsetting you." I said.

Jared broke down in my arms. He fell to his knees. I got down on the ground and held him in my arms. I saw Dr. Tomo walking over to us at the end of the hall.

"Tom, Jared are you two alright?" he asked.

I nodded. Jared didn't reply. He didn't even look up at Dr. Tomo.

"His parents showed up and just left. He's upset that they had to leave." I told the truth slight.

Dr. Tomo nodded, got up and walked off.

I patted Jared back and slowly and gently pulled his head up so I could see his eyes.

"Jared, why are you upset?" I asked.

"My parents don't believe me. They think I murdered Shannon .They think I will kill more people. I told them that I didn't murder anybody. My Dad told me he wasn't coming back here." Jared said.

"Who needs them? If they don't believe them…well…fuck them." I said.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up but that's my fucking father. I respect him and now he disowns me." Jared said.

"Fuck him, Jared. If he disowns you then fucking suck it up and get the hell over it. He doesn't give a damn about you anymore. It's just like my parents don't give a damn about me. They came today to just tell me that I'm fucking insane and called everyone in here that they were loons. They have disowned me so forget about your Dad…" I said.

Jared jumped forward and kissed me.

"What was that for?" I asked confused.

"Just to make you be quiet. I'm happy that you are on my side. Just give me some time and soon I'll be ready to forget about my father." Jared said.

I smiled. He walked into his room and I walked into the media room. Nobody was there. The room was dark and all the lights were off. Lunch had been over for a good half an hour and probably Dr. Tomo started Session without us. I didn't care. I hate sessions. Dr. Tomo did want me to talk with him. I sat there until I saw people walking around signaling that session was over. Gerard and Frank passed by but didn't see me. I didn't care. I liked sitting in e dark room watching the people pass by. Jared never passed by. I saw Mark walking pass the room I was in. He stopped and turned back and entered.

"Hi." I said.

"Where were you today? You weren't in session?" he asked.

"I was helping a friend." I said.

"You were with Jared weren't you?" Mark remarked.

"Yes, I was with him." I said.

"He just wants to fuck you. You know that. He will act like he loves you but honestly he just wants to fuck you." Mark said

"Jared's not like that. He loves me." I snapped.

"You don't understand, Tom." Mark said.

"What don't I understand? Jared loves me and I held him in my arms as he cried." I said.

"I have liked you since he day I came here. I was too shy to talk to you because you had obviously been here a while. You were dating Gerard at the time. Once Frank came along you started talking to me. I thought we had something. Then you pushed me away. Next thing I know you are talking with him and getting very close to him in his room." Mark said.

"It's hard to know that someone likes you when you never speak, hang out, or even look at each other. I'm sorry I have gotten over my crush for you and chose Jared. I chose Jared because he came out and said that he liked me. He came out of the closet just 45 minutes ago to his parents. So, yeah, he surely wants to just fuck me. Thank you, Mark." I said walking down the hallway.

I just kept walking and didn't turn back. I got into my room and slammed the door even though I didn't have a lock. I love causing scenes. It gets my blood flowing. I knew Mark wasn't going to show up at my door after what I said. I didn't want anybody to come into my room. I knew Gerard and maybe Frank would soon come in because I share a room. I waited for Dr. Tomo to show up and ask about my feelings. He never did. Someone gently knocked on my door. I didn't say anything. He opened the door slowly and poked his head through and looked right into my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10 - Learn a little about Frank

"How's it going, Tom?" he said.

"It's been a while. How have you been?" I asked him.

"I have been fine. I think you are more important. What's going on?" He asked.

"I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have liked Mark for a year now and has finally gotten up the courage to talk to me and tell me he liked me the minute I had gotten over him and moved on to another person, Jared. I like Jared, a lot. I don't think Mark knows I ever liked him. Jared is my boyfriend now." I said.

I think you should let your heart decide." He said.

"You make everything sound so simple, Ray. It's much more difficult than you think." I said.

"It's actually very simple, Tom. Imagine this. You are holding both Jared and Mark by their hand over a cliff. You can only save one. You have to drop one to save the other. You have seen Mark around for a year and have never talk to him but he likes you. Then there is Jared. You just met him but you have met his mother and he loves you and you have feeling for him. Which one would you save?" he asked.

"That's too difficult, Ray. I can't choose. It seems like I already chose Jared, but Mark is mad at me." I said.

"Stop thinking about Mark, Tom. I can see your emotions in your eyes. Whenever you say Mark you have sadness in your eyes. Every time you say Jared, your eyes light up. It seems like your brain has already made your decision for you. I have to go. I will talk to you soon." Ray said and then left without giving me time you say anything.

I walked over to my door and opened it. I stepped out and sat right along the wall right beside my door. The next thing I know Gerard is running down the hall with his shirt off. He is freaking out. Frank is right behind him panicking because of Gerard.

"They are going to find me. I can sense them on their way. They have found me. Why did you do that?" Gerard screamed.

I stood up as Gerard got closer. I grabbed him and held him in my arms to calm him down.

"Gerard, calm down. Breathe. Put your shirt on quickly before they get here. They will lose there tracking on you if you put your shirt on quickly. I helped Gerard put his shirt on and Gerard slid to the ground in my arms and softly cried.

"What did I do wrong?" Frank said walking slowly to us.

I just looked at Frank. Gerard wouldn't tell him why he freaked out. I wasn't going to tell him while Gerard was right on me. Frank wasn't wearing his shirt and he wasn't wearing shoes either. Frank and Gerard were going to fuck until Frank took off Gerard's shirt. That's a weird way to ruin a mood.

I slowly got up and walked Gerard into his bed. I walked out and closed the door.

"Frank, there is something you should know about Gerard. He thinks monsters are tracking him down to burn him at a stake and torture him to death. Six years ago he was found tied to a tree deuced in gasoline and a lit lighter in his hand. He dropped the lighter and the whole tree went up in flames. He has burns going up his body. He will not take his shirt off expect to take a shower or to change shirts. If he takes off his shirt the monster after him can track him down. Sorry, I should have told you." I said.

"That's fine. I'm glad you were to tell me that." Frank said.

"Were you going to fuck him?" I asked.

Frank's face instantly went red.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Gerard is great in bed." I said turning and walking down the hall.

"Tom?" Frank said catching up to me.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Are you and Jared a thing now?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, I guess so. Frank, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure, what?" He said.

"How did you get here? I know it's because you have an OCD/ paranoid thing but how did you end up here?" I asked.

"It's hard to talk about. I didn't kill anybody or anything. My parents thought that I was fine and was under control with OCD then they told me I was sort of worrying them. I will fix them to make them perfect. They told me that I was going to see a therapist. That's when I got worse. I had a mental breakdown. The longer the therapist would talk to me the more paranoid I would get. I started taking longer showers. Flicking the light switch on and off because it was right. Undoing and making up my bad over and over again. Clean my locker every day after every class. My therapist told me this was not natural that I was doing this on purpose to get attention. When he said that I got angry. I started throwing stuff. I broke both his feet that day. I had guards take me home and that when my parents and my therapist decided to take here." Frank explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Who was your therapist? If I can ask?" I asked.

"Dr. Urie, you probably don't know him. He lives downtown about an hour or two away from here." Frank said.

"Oh I know him alright. I know him very well. He was the one who sent me here." I said not looking at Frank.

"Really? He has never talked about you. He was always talking about his past patients." Frank said.

"I'm not the person he would want to be known to have. " I said.

"Why" Frank asked.

"He was hired as my personal therapist seven years ago a year before my parents kicked me out. He would orce me to tell him everything going on in my life. He didn't believe me when I told him a guy was trying to kill me. All he thought was that I would try to kill myself some times because he never saw Scott. Then Scott killed my boyfriend. Dr. Urie blamed me because even right in front of his face he didn't see Scott and blamed me. Dr. Urie has not once checked up on me in four years. He has probably blocked me out of his mind." I said looking a Frank who was memorized at what I was saying.

"Well, that sucks. I better get going. Thanks for helping with Gerard." Frank said.

"No problem. Frank if you ever wanna talk I'm always here, you can tell me anything." I said with a smiled.

He smiled and ran down the hall to his room.

I let Gerard have some time to himself. I walked into the media room and this time there was people there. They were watching TV show. I looked around and saw Mark there. I didn't want to be seen by him. He probably hated me now. I walked backwards out of the room and down the hall. I looked inside Jared's room but he wasn't there.

I walked around the whole place and Jared was nowhere. Then I realized I hadn't checked one spot…the showers. I walked in there and a shower was on. I walked in and crept slowly and carefully not to make a noise. I looked around the corner and saw Jared. Jared was standing there. His naked body glistened under the water. He was singing.

"Was is a dream? Was is a dream? Is this the only evidence that proves it? A photograph of you and I." HE sung.

His voice was so beautiful. I kept listening.

"You reflection I've erased. Like a thousand burned out yesterdays. Believe me when I say goodbye forever is for good." He sang and turned facing me.

He opened his eyes and saw me standing peering at him. He instantly stopped singing and turned away from me and turned the water off. I quickly took off my shoes and socks when he wasn't looking. I took off my shirt and pants and he turned around. I was wearing nothing but my boxers. I walked over to him and his naked self. He seemed a little fearful about this.

I slowly slid off my boxers and turned the water back on. He looked into my eyes as the water streamed down our faces. I leaned in and kissed him. Jared wrapped his arms around me. I pulled away and Jared looked ok what was going on now. Then he went out on a limb.


	11. Chapter 11 - Scaring the Sh-t out of me

Jared just looks at me. I'm staring into his eyes that I didn't notice that his hand was going south fast. I snapped out of it when he tugged my dick. He pulled it back and forth. I put my arms on the wall and tilted my head back with my eyes closed. Jared started tugging faster and faster. I moved my head back facing him. He was smiling. Then I came…

It hit his leg and ran down. The smiled never left Jared's face. "I'm sorry." I said turning red.

"You're fine." Jared said. "Did it feel good?"

"What do you think?" I said.

"You heard me sing." Jared said looking away from me.

"Is this why you take a shower after everyone else does?" I asked.

He was turned red.

"You have a beautiful voice." I said.

He smiled.

"I better dry off and head to bed." I said.

Jared jumped up and hugged me.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said.

I got out of the shower dried off and went to bed with wet hair. Nobody knew what happened. Everyone was fast asleep and a orderly took me to my room because I was breaking curfew. I fell asleep right away and was woken up my no one other than Gerard. He was smiling again. Good.

"Wake up, wake up wake up." Gerard said frantically shaking me.

"Enough, enough, Gee, stop." I said.

He laughed. "It's 9:00, breakfast." He said.

"Alright, I'll be there in a second." I said sitting up.

Gerard skipped away and out the door.

I slipped my shoes on and stood up. I walked out of my room and saw Frank jogging over to me.

"Hey, Frank, Gerard went over to breakfast." I said.

"Oh, I know I pasted him. I was wondering if you have seen Jared. My room is right beside his and he is not in his room. I already checked the dining hall and he wasn't there." Frank said.

"Don't worry about it, Frank. I'll fine him. Go catch up with Gerard." I said.

I walked over to Jared's room and he was in there. I looked around his room and under his bed and he wasn't in the room. I walked down the hall and to the bathroom where I was last night. A couple showers were on. David was showering, Mike had just turned the water off.

"Tom, I would wait until tomorrow to take a shower. The water is ice cold." Mike said.

I nodded my head and went to the shower stall me and Jared were at last night. It was still running I could hear it. I peered the corner and saw Jared seating propped against the wall. His eyes were closed. He was taking short choppy breaths. He had been there all not. HE was still naked.

"Jared?" I asked taking off my shoes and socks. I turned the water off. I grabbed his under arms and dragged him out of the water. He was shivering uncontrollably.

"I need help!" I yelled. I grabbed a spare towel and started drying off Jared to warm him up. I picked him up and sat him on the bench where the people wait for a shower. He still wasn't getting warm. I pulled off my shirt and slip it over his head and put it on him. I slid my pants off and put the on him. He was slipping in and out of consciousness. "Stay with me Jared." I said. I grabbed my socks and pulled them on his feet. I picked him up and he was limp in my arms. I could hear him moan when I picked him up. I walked out of the bathroom. I realized I was wearing nothing but boxers.

"Help me! I need help!" I yelled. Two orderlies and Dr. Tomo came running.

"Tom, what going on?" Dr. Tomo asked.

I kept walking towards the infirmary.

"I found Jared on the shower floor like this. I tried to get him warm with a towel but it wasn't working so I put my clothes on him." I said.

The orderlies took Jared from me and walked towards the infirmary.

"Tom, let me take you to your room." Dr. Tomo said.

"I didn't do it. I swear. Jared and I took a shower last night and when I was finished Jared was still in there and I thought he was leaving behind me." I said.

"I know you didn't do anything. Let's get you into some new clothes and off to a late breakfast." Dr. Tomo said.

"I didn't do it, Dr. Milicevic." I said.

I only said Dr. Milicevic wen I was dead serious.

"I believe you, Thomas. Once we get Jared stable you can go see him." Dr. Tomo said.

I nodded. I got dressed and walked into the dining hall where Gerard ran up to me and hugged me.

"We heard about Jared. Is he ok?" he asked.

"I don't know." I said sitting down at the table. Frank had got me some breakfast.

"Thanks Frank." I said.

"It's nothing, you helped me last night. An eye for an eye, right?" Frank said.

I smirked. "Why would he stay in the shower all night and risk hyperthermia?" I asked.

"Tom, he is just like all of us. We are in a fucking mental institution. We all have mental breakdowns. You should know that after four years." Gerard said.

"You're right. Maybe the thought the dangers were after him last night and I saved him." I said.

Frank and Gerard nodded. We ate.

I hung out with them for a while before an orderly said I could visit Jared. He was awake and asking about me.

I wanted to run as fast as I could to him but I held back and walked pretty fast to the infirmary. I turned into the infirmary and Jared was watching the door and his eyes lit up when he saw me.

I ran over to him and kissed him. He started crying. "I was so worried about you." I said.

"You saved me from the dangers." Jared said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They held me down on the shower floor after you left. The cold water came and hours later you showed up. I could move. Everything started to fade after you took off your shirt. I woke up in here wearing your clothes." Jared said.

"I was so worried." I said almost in tears.

"Don't cry, Tom. I'm ok now." Jared said wiping his own face from his tears.

"I just so happy that you are ok." I said.

He smiled. He sat up and folded his legs. I sat on his bed and folded my legs and my knees touched his. He kissed me. We talked for hours. We skipped lunch and dinner. He fell asleep together.

It was really early. I hear Jared get up and go to the bathroom. He came back laid back beside me. I knew he was sleep. He gently ran us fingers through my hair. I kept my eyes closed. I felt Jared's hand go down my arm and on my stomach and down my thigh. He stuck his hand down my pants and pulled my dick out. He rubbed it until I got hard. I kept my eyes closed until I thought was right. He stopped touching my dick and I could hear him moving around. Then I felt him on top of me. I opened my eyes right as Jared sat on my dick. My penis entered his ass.

"Oh, I'm sorry did I wake you. It's 8:30." Jared said going up and down.

"You're fine. You could have warned me. I could have given you a little show." I said.

He smiled and started going faster. By his face I knew he was in pain. I came.

"Jared, you can stop. I came." I said.

Jared smiled and got off me.

I sat up and saw it was almost 9. I started walking to the dining hall. Jared was holding my hand. We walk into the dining hall with yelling. I realized that Gerard and Mark were fighting.

"Fuck you!" Mark yelled.

"When, where and how hard?" Gerard yelled.

"You can't tell me where to sit." Mark replied.

"I have sat here for six fucking years. Go sit it in your normal fucking seat over there you fucking asshole." Gerard yelled.

"It's a free fucking country. I can sit anywhere I damn please." Mark yelled.

I ran over to Gerard.

"Gee, stop." I said.

"No, Tom. I have been sitting in the same spot for six fucking long years. This asshole won't change things now." Gerard said.

"Mark, go, to another table." I said.

He looked at me. "Fuck you. Fuck all of you."

"Gladly, you fucking assface." Gerard yelled.

"Calm down, Gee." Frank said.

"Wow, what we miss." Jared said.

"I know, When did Mark get the balls to talk to somebody?" I asked.

Then it hit me.


	12. Chapter 12 - Mark getting jealous

Gerard, Frank, Jared and I talked for a while and I noticed the whole time Mark was watching us. I decided to do something about that.

"Hey, Gerard, wanna do something with Frank, Jared and I?" I said.

"Like what?" Gerard asked.

"Just watch. Jared put that chicken piece in your mouth." I said.

Jared put the chicken in his mouth and I leaned in and kissed him and biting half the chicken piece off out of Jared mouth.

Jared smiled. Frank put some food in his mouth Gerard did the same thing. I looked over and Mark was disgusted and stopped watching us. I saw Jared slowly moving food to his mouth because he was laughing at Frank biting Gerard's lip instead of the food. I ate the food from Jared fork and Jared end biting the fork. Jared looked at me and slapped my arm.

"I'm sorry for disturbing, Frank, Gerard, Jared, and Tom, but can you save to public show of affection for the privacy of your rooms." Dr. Tomo said.

We nodded and wait for him to leave to get up from our seats.

I saw Mark get up and head over to me and Jared.

"Oh look we've got company." Jared whispered.

"I'll handle this." I said.

Mark walked over here and didn't even look over at me. He stood there staring at Jared.

"What's up Mark?" Jared asked.

"Shut up." Mark said.

"Oh then what the fuck are you doing over here?" Jared said.

Mark didn't reply. He probably had a whole conversation palnned in his head but Jared ruined it for him.

"What the fuck do you want?" Jared said loudly.

That's when Mark socked Jared in the nose. Jared looked confused. Then it dawned on him. Mark was jealous of him because Jared was with me instead of me being with mark.

Jared smiled and socked him back.. Mark fell backwards.

"What the fuck?" Mark yelled.

"What the fuck did you expect me to do? Shrug it off and walk away like nothing happened? If you punch me I'm going to punch twice as hard." Jared said.

"Come on, Jared. Let's go before you get us in trouble." I said moving Jared.

"Fine, you better watch you back, you asshole." Jared said.

Mark looked scared. Mark was threatened by Jared. It's good to know that Mark gets loud when angry.

"That is the best way to get the blood pumping." Jared said.

"You didn't have to sock that hard. You saw him he is like skin and bones. You're full of muscle. Next time at least give him a fighting chance." I said.

"Are you on his side?" Jared snapped. I could see crazy in his eyes.

"No, I am not on his side. I'm on your side. I just don't want you to kill him." I said.

"I wasn't going to kill him. I just wanted to break his nose." Jared said.

"Jared, Mark is nothing compared to you. You are strong and muscular. What is he? He is weak and useless. You could really hurt the guy. This is a minimum security mental institution if you kill somebody in this place in front of everybody you are going to be transferred. I don't want to lose you." I said.

"I won't kill him, ok. That was cute what you did this morning. What made you think of eating food out each other's mouth?" Jared asked.

"Mark was watching us so I thought up a way to make him totally disgusted and jealous. I thought it was pretty sexy." I said with a smile.

Jared smiled and we walked into his room.

"Hey, can you hang by yourself for a little while?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure? Why?" Jared asked.

"I have to talk to Dr. Milicevic in private for a while. I wanted to ask about Skye. I know she just arrived but I haven't seen her at all." I said.

"Yeah sure thing. Go talk to Milicevic" Jared said.

"I will see you later." I said kissing his forehead.

Jared smiled as I left his room and down the hall to the front desk.

"Hello, Gwen. How are you today?" I asked.

"I am fine, today, Mr. Delonge. What do you need?" Gwen said with a smile.

"Is there any chance I could speak to Dr. Milicevic right now?" I asked.

"I think right now is a perfect time. Let me just call him and see if he can." She said picking up the phone.

"Hello, Tomo. Tom is at the front desk wondering if you were busy or not because he wants to speak with you?" she asked.

"That's great I'll send him in right away." She smiled.

"You know where Dr. Milicevic's room is, Mr. Delonge." She said.

"Thank you." I said walking down the hall.

I knocked on the door. "Come in, Mr. Delonge." Dr. Tomo said.

"Hi, Dr. Tomo." I said sitting down in a chairs.

"So what did you want to talk about? I'm guessing a lot because I haven't talked to you in two sessions." He said.

"I was wondering about Skye. I saw her on the day she arrived but I haven't seen her since. You looked very panicked when I told you I knew her. Where is she?" I asked.

"Tom, Skye has been transferred. She was sent here because she had attack all her close friends she had in high school. She asked about you on the drive here and we told her we didn't know a Tom hoping you would see her. When you did the orderlies could tell she was going try to kill you any second. Her fist tightened. He body was stiff. You could tell. I'm sorry we never told you. It was for your safety." Dr. Tomo said.

"I understand. Did you take my parents off the welcome list?" I asked.

"Tom, why do you want your parents off that list? They are your parents." Dr. Tomo asked.

"They stopped being my parents when they kicked me out of their house six years ago never called when I was living with Billie and never showed up until a couple days go. When they showed up they looked like they didn't care. They were emotionless and bland. They disowned me six years ago and dared to show their faces at me six years later." I said.

"I will take them off the list." He said.

"They blame me for doing those things. You know the things Scott did." I said.

"Why do you think that?' Dr. Tomo asked.

"They told me that I was just doing this for attention. They think I murder Billie. They think I have tried kill myself for attention. That's not true." I said on the verge of tears.

"Maybe because you were kicked out of your parents house and then losing all connection from them they have built up this wall protecting them from what you say is the truth." Dr. Tomo explained.

"Ray says he has visited you before. He has talked to you about me." I said looking at the ground.

"Really? What did ray talk to me about?" Dr. Tomo asked.

"Ray says that you and him talked about my first day here and how you helped me when Scott attacks me. Ray tells me you talk to him all the time." I said.

"Really? When was the last time Ray talked with you?" Dr. Tomo said writing down something.

I talked with him the other day. It was about Jared…and Mark. I couldn't decide who to be with. Ray helped me. I chose Jared. Now Mark is mad and hit Jared and Jared hit back…hard." I said.

"Why did you choose Jared?" Dr. Tomo asked.

"When I'm with Mark I do all the talking and it's gets awkward and we don't really get anywhere in a conversation. When I'm with Jared we can talk for hours and hours and nothing gets whole even if we have to same conversation multiple times. I have fun with Jared. Ray told me to pick what my heart says is right. I chose Jared." I said.

"Do you love Jared?" He asked.

"I don't know yet. Maybe." I said as someone knocks on the door.

"Come in." Dr. Tomo said.

"Dr. Milicevic we have a serious problem. David is having a horror movie thing again. He is strangling Jared." Gwen said. I sprung up with Dr. Tomo and ran down the hall.

David was right outside Jared's room holding Jared two feet off the ground against the wall.

"David, put Jared down." Dr. Tomo said.

Jared's face was bright red and he couldn't breathe. Jared's fingers were grasping David's hands. Jared's legs were flailing.

"You're killing him, David." I yelled.

I know David's weaknesses. I kicked the inside my David's knees and that lower Jared to the ground. He still could breathe. I pinched the back of David's neck hard and David released his grip instantly. Two orderlies quickly sedated him. Jared had fallen to the ground coughing and wheezing. I walked over to him.

"Jared, no need to worry we have given David too many chances and will be transferred immediately." Dr. Tomo said.

Jared nodded regaining his breath. I helped him up and walked him into his room. He laid on the bed and I laid beside him.

"Tom, the dangers were killing me. They took over David and were after me. I'm not safe." Jared panicked.

"You're safe now. The dangers aren't going to get you." I said.

"I can't take it anymore, Tom. I'm scared. I'm terrified. They are going to get me." Jared said.

"Can you explain the dangers to me so I have a better understanding?" I said.

Jared shook his head. I tear rolled down his cheek. I didn't know what to do. I got closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He put his face in my chest and cried. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his back. It was noon and time for lunch.

"Jared, we have to go to lunch. Do you think you can put a strong face and make it through lunch? I will be right be your side the whole time." I said. He looked at me. His eyes were puffy and vulnerable. I looked at him.

"Everything I going to be ok. Nobody is going to hurt you. I won't let the dangers get you. I'll protect you." I said wiping the tears from Jared's face with my thumbs.

We got up and walked into the dining hall. Jared wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my chest. We got our food and Jared very slowly ate his lunch making complete sure no one was coming near him. IF someone walked pasted him he would pause and look around. He saw Mark enter the dining hall. He paused until Mark passed the table and sat down at Mark's normal table far away from us. I looked at Mark. He looked guilty. Like he did something he was not proud of. He set up David strangling Jared. He wanted Jared to become vulnerable and then attack. I looked at Jared and he ate another bite of his food. He looked so small and weak. Mark looked like he chickened out.

"Jared, I will be right back. Ok?" I said.

Jared nodded and took another bite.

I walked over to Mark.

"You twisted bastard." I said.

"What?" Mark replied.

"You got David to strangle Jared. You tried to kill Jared." I said.

"Why would I do that?" Mark said.

"Because you want to be with me. I know that's why. Don't lie to me." I said.

"I'm sorry. Jealousy got the best of me. I was really mad and I talk to David. He started thinking he was in a horror movie. I told him I did like Jared and David attacked. I feel horrible about it now. You really care about Jared. I have accepted that. I realized that when Jared socked me in the nose. Can we be friends?" Mark explained.

"Let me think about this for a while." I said walking back to Jared.


	13. Chapter 13 - I gave him a fightin chance

"Why did you go talk to Mark?" Jared asked.

"It was Mark who got David to attack you." I said.

"How do you know?" Jared asked.

"That twisted bastard got David into a horror movie state mind and got him to think you were the bad guy." I said.

"I'm going to go to my room now." Jared asked.

"What got into you, Jared? You are acting like the life got sucked out of you. You're not acting yourself." I said.

"I'm done putting a strong face and act like I'm normal. I'm not. I'm terrified that I'm going to die." Jared said walking out of the dining hall.

I grabbed Jared's hand. I dragged him into his room. I sat him on his bed.

"Jared, listen to me. You are not acting yourself. I can tell in your eyes that this isn't yourself. Don't lie to me. Why are you acting like this?" I said.

Jared smiled. I was confused. Jared started to laugh. I was really confused.

"ha-ha I really had you. You told me to give Mark a fighting chance. I put on a pretty damn good show don't you think. I crushed him mentally." Jared said.

"That was clever. Are you done playing with Mark's mind?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Did Mark ask you if he could still be friends with you?" Jared asked.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I didn't. I was just wondering." Jared said.

"It's not like it's a big deal or anything." I said.

"Yeah, but he tried to kill me." Jared said.

"But he feels guilty about it." I added.

"He killed people, Tom." Jared said.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"We lived on the same street. Everybody in my neighborhood knew what Mark did almost two years ago." Jared said.

Wow, I never thought that Jared knew Mark. That means Mark knew Jared or at least saw him around. Was Mark right about Jared? Did Jared just want to fuck me?

"Did you know Mark personally before coming here?" I asked.

"No, we saw each other around. I didn't know his name until I heard about what he did." Jared said.

"What did he do? I know he killed people. How many? How? Who?" I asked.

"I think he killed about 15 people. From what the news reporters said he killed 5 with a gun, 3 with a small bomb in a car and 7 with a knife. News reporters talked with Mark's parents about what happened and they were dumbfounded that Mark would do such a thing. They were going to send Mark to prison for manslaughter and later realizing they were all close friends of his, premeditated murder. Mark went through many tests until doctors said that he is mental unstable but wouldn't release Mark's mental problem." Jared said.

"Wow." I said. I was dumbfounded and I couldn't find the words to say. Wow is all I could say.

"Wow is right. He is a damn physco. He shouldn't be in a minimum security mental institution." Jared said.

"He has been her for over a year and hasn't done a thing." I said.

"You're on his side." Jared said.

"Like I said before. I'm on your side. I'm thinking logically." I said.

Jared looked away. I wanted to just walk out of the room and scream into my pillow. Jared had moved his head to look at me. He could tell I wanted to scream. Jared grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on top of him. I kept quiet. I kept my mouth closed because I was going to scream if I didn't.

Jared slid me over so I was sitting on the bed. He got up and sat on my lap facing me. He took my hand and toughed his crotch. My face turned red. He undid his belt and I unzipped his pants. Jared brought out his dick and grabbed my wrist and put my hand on his dick.

I felt my face turn even redder. I began to slowly rub his dick. Jared looked into my eyes like he was embarrassed to look like he was enjoying it. I could definitely tell he was enjoying because he kept biting his lip and closing his eyes. I realized after a while that if he cums he will cum right in my lap. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be a mood breaker. So I did the unthinkable. I stopped rubbing his dick and picked him up and sat him down on the bed. I got on my knees. You can guess what I did next. I have given a lot of blowjobs. This one was different. I wanted to do this because I love Jared not just for the fun of it. I didn't mind the warm sticking goo running down my throat. It didn't taste that great but I still do it. I looked up at Jared and he had his head tilted back and the veins in his arms were popping out. He came and relaxed. I stopped and got up.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Why are you asking me?" Jared asked.

"You were just given a blowjob." I said.

"Yeah, that one felt better than any other girl who has ever sucked my dick. I mean how do you feel? I would be gagging if warm cum shot down my throat." Jared said.

"You get used to it after a while. How many girls have sucked your dick before?" I asked.

"Only one girl. My ex-girlfriend from like three years ago. I was sleeping and woke up to something going up and down my dick. She was sucking my deep. I wasn't turned on at all. I broke up with her because she tried to do it again three days later. This was the first time I was turned on by a blow job." Jared said.

"Let me give you a heads up. I have not always been gay. I had girlfriends. I have had plenty of blowjobs done to me. I have licked pussy as well. It wasn't until I met Billie Joe Armstrong. He was my first boyfriend. We dated for a long time. I was in 10th grade and he was in 12th. He was shot and killed two years later, the day after I graduated high school." I said.

Jared looked away. I got up and walked out of his room. I watched as David was sent out of the institution never to see us again. I sat in the dining hall and watched others have conversations. I think I sat there for a good hours before they started cooking supper. That means supper is anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. I think I zoned out for most of that time and the next thing I know Gerard and Frank are shaking me.

"Tom? Where have you been the last few hours?" Gerard asked.

"Here why?" I asked.

"Jared was looking for you. He said he looked away for a moment and the next thing he knows you were gone and nowhere to be found." Frank said.

"I have been right here." I said.

"Why have you been in here?" Gerard said.

"I just wanted to be left alone for a while." I said.

"What's wrong, Tom?" Gerard asked.

"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted some alone time and I knew you and Frank would be in our room and I was just with Jared." I said.

"Nothing is wrong about wanting to have some alone time but you have to tell someone before we freak out." Gerard said.

"Are you going to get any supper?" Frank added.

"Nah, I'm not hungry. When Jared comes here tell him I went to bed." I said standing up.

"Did you guys have a fight?" Frank asked.

"No, I'm tired. I have had a long day. I just want to be left alone." I said walking out of the dining hall.

Jared entered as I walked out.

"Tom?" Jared said.

I kept walking down the hall.

"Tom? What's wrong? Was it something I said?" Jared said.

I didn't stop walking. I could hear Jared running over to me.

"Tom? What's wrong?" Jared asked touching my shoulder.

Honestly I didn't know why I wanted to be left alone. Something was telling me that I needed to be alone or bad things with happen. Then it hit me. On this day six years ago Scott had killed my little sister Kari by strangling her to death. The same way David tried to do to Jared. Ray was subconsciously telling me to go be by myself for a while.

"What's wrong, Tom?" Jared asked for the third time.

"On this day six years ago I found my little sister, Kari, being strangled by Scott. Scott dropped her and ran right as my parents entered the room. That's why they kicked me out. Talking about old girlfriends and the past reminded me of that. I'm really tired and just want to lay in bed and go to sleep. I'm sorry." I said.

Jared looking at me and walked close to me. "I understand perfectly. Rest your mind. You deserve it. Good night." Jared said.

I looked down at him and hugged him. I didn't kiss him or tell him good night. I hugged him and walked away. He understood how I was feeling. He just lost his brother to the dangers. Jared and I have something in common. We both lost someone close to us and were blamed for it.


	14. Chapter 14 - Gee cares about me

I walked quietly to my room. I laid down. Did mark know that Scott murdered Kari? Did he know the other way Scott tried to kill me and other people? Was Mark planning to kill me in my sleep? I closed my eyes tight and soon drifted to sleep when I hear Gerard walk in.

I woke up that morning and Gerard wasn't in the room. I sat up and realized that it was way after 9 in the morning. I looked down at my feet. There was a note at the end of my bed. I grabbed it. It was from Gerard. He wrote:

Dear Tom,

I wanted to let you sleep in. Jared told me that you were thinking about something from your past. I remember when you told me about Kari. I remember when you told me stories about her. She would somehow always make you forget about Scott and focus on Ray. I couldn't wake you up. I stayed up all night watching you toss and turn in your sleep. You were having a nightmare. You were almost screaming. I got out of bed and walked to Jared's room and woke him up. Right as Jared laid down in your bed he instantly calmed down. Take is easy Tom. I love you and I want you to be happy.

Love, Gerard

Gerard really cares about me. I don't think Gerard ever stopped loving me after we broke up and he found Frank and I got Jared. I'm ok with Gerard loving me. In a way I love Gerard. I got up and dressed and walked out of the room. I walked into the dining hall and I noticed they were serving lunch and Gerard, Frank and Jared were eating lunch at our table. I grabbed my normal lunch and walked over to the table.

"How'd you sleep, buddy." Gerard said knowing I don't like being called buddy.

"I don't know. I didn't dream. It's like I fell asleep and then hours later woke up. Nothing in between." I said.

"You looked like you were terrified last night when Gerard asked me to calm you down. I laid down beside you and you calmed down right away." Jared said.

"Thanks for doing that. I'm sorry that you couldn't go to sleep Gee." I said.

"Tom, you don't have to apologize. It was nothing. You're my roommate. I know if I was doing that in my sleep you would have asked Frank to calm me down. I lo…I didn't want you to be upset." Gerard said.

He was hiding that he loved me still from Frank. Had Gerard said that he loved me to Frank? Had Gerard said my name when Frank and him fucked? Why would Gerard not tell me he loved me? I love him. He was the first person I met here in this hell hall. Gerard requested me to be his roommate 3 ½ years ago because I was too unstable to be alone.

"Thanks, Gee, You know I love you, right?" I said.

Gerard looked at Frank. Frank had a glare in his eyes.

"Frank, I have known Gerard for four years. We are like best friends. I would never take Gee away from you. I have Jared." I said smiling.

"It's not like that. Something happened the other day. I don't wanna talk about it." Frank said.

Gerard's face was red. Gerard did say my name when they fucked. I can't believe it. I realized that I Jared was quiet.

I turned my head to him an di realized that he fell asleep with his head on his hand. I smiled.

"Hey , Gee, Frank, look Jared fell asleep." I said.

"Take him to his room. Frank and I are going to hang out outside." Gerard said.

I nodded. I stood up and gently moved Jared's head and picked him up. His head rested on my shoulder. I walked down the halls and into his room. I laid him down on his bed. I started to walk away when Jared grabbed my hand. His eyes were still closed. He wanted me to lay with him.


	15. Chapter 15 - This can't be happening

I walked out of the room and went towards Gerard and Frank who were outside. I looked through the window and it looked like Gerard and Frank were in a serious conversation. I hung out in the Media room watching Tre flip the channel every 30 seconds and Mike try to count how many time the actors say the word "the". It was rather entertaining. Lunch came about.

Jared must have fell asleep again and missed Lunch. I sat with Gerard and Frank. They looked upset. The both of them.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What?" Gerard said.

"I saw y'all have a serious discussion outside. Why are y'all upset?" I asked.

"I said your name when me and Frank were fucking. Frank is mad because he think I don't love him anymore. He thinks I love you again." Gerard said.

"Frank, Gerard loves you and I can tell he does. Gerard and I go way back. Gee was probably worried about me at that time and said my name instead of your name. He loves you to death. Trust me." I said.

"Tom, are you and Jared ok?" Frank asked.

"We are better than ever. Why?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just think you are separating yourself from him." Frank replied.

"He helped me last night. Apparently he didn't sleep. He fell asleep during breakfast and I still asleep for lunch. I'm letting him rest." I said.

"Tom, I think he might be getting a little jealous of me and you being such good friends." Gerard said.

"Alright. I'll talk to him after dinner tonight before bed." I said.

Gerard and Frank smiled like I helped them out a bunch. I walked passed Jared's room and he was knocked out asleep. I kept walking and Mark turned around the corner.

"Hey, Tom." Mark said with a smile.

"Hey, Mark. How are you doing? It's been a while since we talked." I said.

"I heard Jared slept with you last night." Mark said.

"It was just last night. It wouldn't had happened if Gerard hadn't asked him to come over. I was having a bad night. I didn't even know Jared had slept in my bed. By the time I woke up Jared and Gerard were gone." I said.

"Sorry about that. I hope tonight you have a better sleep." Mark said.

"I hope as well. Hey, how about you and me hang out right now. I know Tre and Mike are watching TV. I don't think you have seen Mike and Tre watch TV before." I smiled.

Mark and I watch Tre flip the channels and this time Mike counted how many times an actor says "and". Mark and I laughed for hours. Tre and Mike were laughing as well. We were having a blast. Soon, dinner came along. Mark and I walked into the dining hall as well. Mark walked to his normal spot. Jared was awake and sitting at the table with sleepy eyes.

"Hey, J." I said kissing him.

"What did you do while I was asleep?" He asked softly still trying to wake up.

"I was walking around the place when I ran into Mark and we hung and watch Tre and Mike watch TV until dinner." I said.

Gerard and Frank walked towards us and sat down.

"You're up?" Gerard said.

"Yeah, I needed that nap." Jared said.

"Sometimes we all just crash." Gerard said.

"Just not very often do we see people crash while eating breakfast." I said with a big smile.

"Yeah, you fell asleep with a fork full of food in your hand." Frank laughed.

Jared smiled. We ate and I walked Jared back to his room.

"Maybe tomorrow we could take a shower and hang out outside." I said.

"That's nice. I'm going to go back to sleep. I'm exhausted still." Jared said then kissing me. I went to my room and soon feel asleep myself. I began to dream. I was sitting along the wall and Jared was there. He looked into my eyes. He had many questions running through is head.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Do You love Gerard?" Jared asked.

"Yeah. I have known him for four years, of course I love him." I said.

"Do you love me?" Jared asked.

"Of course I do. You're my boyfriend. You don't even have to ask." I said.

"You haven't said I love you to me yet so I had to ask. I love you and wanted to know that you felt the same." Jared said.

His eyes were soft. They weren't crazy. He was serious. I didn't know what to say. Yes I love Jared, but I'm not ready to say I love him yet. If I say I'm not ready he might think I still love Mark. I don't The only way I would love Mark again is if Jared died. Even if that happened it would be months or years before I could get over that.

"Do you love me, Tom?" Jared asked.

"Of course I do." I said.

Jared got up and walked into the hallway and propped on the wall. I got up and walked beside him. I slid down to the ground. Jared slid down with me. He didn't look at me.

"What do you think about death?" I said.

"What?" Jared replied.

"I think that I want to buried beside Gerard or Gerard beside me. We planned this out that since we are best friends we wanted to buried together. I want you on the other side of me." I said.

"I haven't thought about my death." Jared said.

"I have many times. When you have been here for four years you think about things. I'm probably going to die here." I said.

"Why do you think that?" Jared said.

"I heard Dr. Milicevic talking to other doctors about me. Basically they all said that once I believe that Scott isn't real and neither is Ray I am going to stay here. It's impossible .Scott is real and same with Ray." I said.

"Have you ever thought that they might be right?" Jared said not looking at me.

"They are real. Scott tried to kill me with a knife. Ray is real. He comes by all the time and tells me what he has done." I said.

"Tom, I have never seen Scott." Jared said.

"You had to have seen Scott. He attacked me in front of you." I said.

"Tom, let me tell you what I saw that night it happened. I laid down on my bed and you were in the doorway. I saw you look to the left. You turned around and ran down the hall. I got up and ran out of my room. You were running into your room where you slammed the door. I saw Dr. Milicevic ran to your door. I ran up as well. Gerard and Frank were there. Gerard knocked on the door and said something. We heard you cough. I knocked down your door and ran over to you. You had a piece of broken glass in your hand. An orderly saw a broken picture frame under your bed. No one was with you. There was no knife." Jared said.

"You think I'm crazy. You think there is no one after me. You think Ray and Scott are not real." I said.

"I don't think you are crazy but I don't think Scott and Ray are real." Jared said.

"I trusted you. I thought you were the only one, other than Gerard, that thought I was normal. You lied to me." I said with tears forming in my eyes.

"Tom, I don't think you are crazy. You should trust me. I love you. I love you the way you are." Jared said.

"If you really loved me you would see Scott. You would see Ray." I said.

"Tom, if you loved me you would see the dangers." Jared said.

"What the fuck are the dangers? How the fuck am I supposed to know what the dangers are if you won't tell me what they fucking look like?" I yelled.

"You're right. I'm a fucking idiot." Jared said getting up and walking into his room. I didn't follow him. I pulled my knees. Jared had broken my heart. I couldn't forgive him yet. Jared thinks I'm crazy. At least I think he thinks I'm crazy. I asked him what the dangers were and his emotion changed towards the subject. I had to talk to him.

I slowly got up and walked into Jared's room.

"Jared, I'm sorry. I should have thought about what I said. I'm sorry." I said.

"No, Tom, I should be apologizing. I thought for a moment that I was the only normal person in this place but you reminded me that the dangers are the reason I am this hell hall." Jared said smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked.

"Dangers are the things that make us die. Say a man has a heart attack. The dangers attack him and the attack causing the heart attack. Whenever the dangers are near there could be a death. The day David was strangling me the dangers were there. You saved me from them. The dangers are dangerous things, Tom. When I was little Shannon used to tell me stories about them. They never attacked Shannon. The dangers were scared of Shannon. Once Shannon was gone they have stayed away from me except when David came along." Jared said.

"Has anyone else seen the dangers?" I asked.

Jared looked confused. It was like he hadn't thought of that before. It was like something dawned on him. It was like he finally figured out that they weren't real. Jared got up and walked to the door. I walked with him. He grabbed something but I didn't see. We walked out of his room and into the hallway. Jared walked slightly behind me. I saw Ray. He did not look happy. Then Scott appeared behind Ray. Scot stabbed Ray and Ray vanished. Ray wasn't real. All of a sudden Scot wasn't there anymore. Jared tapped me shoulder and I turned around. Scotts eyes were in Jared. Scott and taken over Jared's body.

Jared had a piece of glass from the picture frame of mine. "They made me do it." Jared mumbled.

Jared quickly raised his hand and slashed down until something hit Jared right in the head. A fire extinguisher. I turned around and a Mark was standing there. Mark walked up to me grabbed the extinguisher.

"What's going on?" I asked Mark.

Mark didn't say a word. He just kept walking down the hall holding the fire extinguisher.

"Mark? Where are you going?" I asked.

He again didn't reply.

"Mark? Was Jared going to kill me?" I asked frantic.

Mark just kept walking until he reached the entrance to Hazelnut Valley.

"You can't leave, Mark. You have to stay here. You are a patient here." I said.

The nurse let Mark through. I was stuck at the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

Mark turned and looked at me. Marks eye were calm. There was no crazy in those eyes at all. He was being discharged.

"No, don't leave me here." I said.

Mark smiled and put his hand on the door window.

"You don't have to go." I said.

Mark shook his head.

Tears were forming in my eyes. I shouldn't leave. That's not how things are supposed to end. I had to choose between Jared and Mark. I chose Jared. That was the wrong chose. I can't go back now.

Mark smiled once again. He started walking backwards and exited Hazelnut Valley and left.

I ran down the hall and saw that Dr. Tomo was examining Jared. Jared and killed Scott. Jared's eye were crazy again. This time I didn't love Jared. I missed Mark. There was no reason for me to be here. Ray and Scott are gone and they were never real. I wonder what Jared has to say.

"Dr. Tomo?" I said.

Dr. Tomo didn't replied. That's when I realized something. Dr. Tomo was serious and slightly frightened. Three nurses and two orderlies ran to his aid. I looked at Jared on the ground with his eyes open. Jared wasn't blinking. Jared was breathing. Jared wasn't moving. Jared wasn't alive. Jared was killed by Scott. Jared had lost to the dangers. His eyes were full of emptiness. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

I turned and started walking to my room. The walk seemed so much longer than it would normally take me. I got to my room and Gerard wasn't there. I bet they were still outside. I didn't care. I closed the door and laid on my bed. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I woke up that morning and Gerard was awake. He was emotionless. He hadn't heard about Jared yet.

"Gerard?" I said.

Gerard didn't reply.

"Gee?" I said.

Gerard blinked.

"Are you ok, Gerard? I'm talking to you." I asked.

Gerard didn't reply to even know I was there. It was like he couldn't hear me. I looked in a mirror and I looked normal. Why could nobody hear me? I got up and ate breakfast in silence at my table. Jared wasn't there. Gerard and Frank didn't hear me and Mark was gone. This sucks. What's going on?

Gerard, Frank? Jared's dead and Mark was discharged." I said.

"Frank did you hear that Jared killed himself last night?" Gerard said.

"What happened?" Frank asked.

"From what Mark said before he was discharged…"

"Mark was discharged?" Frank interrupted.

"Yes, he was, But from what Mark said before he left, Jared was talking to himself and grabbed the fire extinguisher and knocked himself to the ground hitting himself until he…died." Gerard said.

"That's terrible." Frank said.

"I wish they could hear me. Why can't they hear me? I'm sitting right beside them. GERARD! FRANK! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES LISTEN TO ME!" I yelled.

"You don't have to be so loud, Tom. We heard you." Gerard said.

"I thought you couldn't hear me?" I replied.

"We were giving you some space and quiet because of what happened last night with Jared." Gerard said.

"Thanks, Gee. I'm fine." I said.

"Oh really, Tom? You don't look very well." Gerard said.

"I'm fine, I swear." I said.

"No, Tom, you look sick." Frank replied.

"I'm fine, trust me. I'm never better." I said.

"Well, Tom, it's a good time for you too…


	16. Chapter 16 - Cured to pure insane

"Wake up. Tom wake up." Gerard said gently tapping my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and was a little shaken. It was all a dream. Mark was still here. Jared wasn't dead. "What time is it?" I said.

"8:45. Dr. Milicevic woke me up and told me to wake you up and by in the dining hall at 9. He has something to tell us." Gerard said.

"What could it be?" I asked.

"I think Christmas is coming up." Gerard said.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"It's snowing outside." I said.

"Really?" I said looking out the window and seeing little flakes of snow.

I got up and got dressed. I walked out of the rom and saw Jared walking to me. He had a big smile on his face. He jumped up and hugged me.

"Good morning." I said.

"Good morning. I know what Dr. Milicevic wants." I said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

I asked Marks roommate. I swear it has something to do with Mark. Pete told me something about him being discharged because he is mentally stable. I asked him like last night, but I have seen Mark or Pete today." Jared rambled.

"It's only 9 in the morning." I said.

"I have been up since 6 in the morning. I didn't know this but almost everybody is up at 7." Jared said hyped up on something.

Dr. Tomo walked by with a concerned face.

"What's wrong, Dr. Tomo?" I asked.

"I can't seem to find Pete or Mark anywhere." He said.

"Want us to help you look for them?" I asked.

"That we be nice." I said still walking looking in people rooms.

Jared and I went the other direction. I checked Mark's and Pete's room first. The door was shut a locked. Pete had won lock rights three years ago. I knocked on the door. Nobody was moving on the inside. Pete was put in here for having extreme panic attacks and insomnia. He usually sleeps with his room unlocked. Whenever it's locked he is awake and if you knock Pete will answer. Mark must be in there.

"Mark? Pete? You in there?" I asked.

I heard someone move but they didn't open the door.

"Mark? Pete? It's Tom and Jared." I said.

Next thing we know something heavy and big was tipped over onto the ground hard and fast. After that we heard a muffled scream and then silence. Jared pushed me out of the way and knocked down the door. Jared told me to go find Dr. Milicevic. I ran down the hall fast speeding down the corners.

Gerard and Frank were walking out of dining room as I pass by. I bet I had a terrified look on my face.

"Tom?" Frank asked.

I just kept running. I ran to Dr. Tomo's office. I passed Gwen. Basically I shouldn't be there. I was breaking a rule. I was trespassing. I flung open Dr. Tomo's door. He was in there.

"Dr. Tomo, something terrible has happened. Come quick. Hurry please." I said running back down the hall. Dr. Tomo was right behind me. When I turned the corner Gerard and Frank were still in front of the dining hall.

"Tom?" Gerard said.

I still kept running with Dr. Tomo behind me. Right before I got to the turn for Mark and Pete's rom I heard Jared scream. I ran faster. I saw Mark on top of Jared with a sharp piece of wood close to Jared's neck.

"Mark?" I said putting my hand s up.

"Don't move!" Mark yelled.

Dr. Tomo turned the corner.

"Don't move!" Mark yelled again.

"Mark, put the wood down." I said.

"Don't move, Delonge." Mark yelled. I saw two orderlies creeping behind Mark. Jared and was sweating. With Mark yelling he has moved his hand that if he stabbed Jared it would stab his shoulder.

"Mark, what have you done with Pete?" Dr. Tomo asked.

As Tomo Said that the orderlies grabbed Mark, picked him up and sedated him. Jared quickly got up and walked into Mark's room. I walked over to the rom and peered inside. Blood was on the walls. Blood drag marks and hand prints were everywhere. Mostly, though, they were on this one wall. Mark basically threw the dressed over and down. I had no idea Mark was that strong. He must have been working out in room. How is managed to get blood all over the room amazes me.

"Jared, when did you see Pete?" I asked.

"Um, like two, three days ago." He said.

I walked over to the dresser. All the drawers had been removed and stacked in a corner. Basically the drawer was empty. There was dried blood around where the dresser was. It was freshly dried blood. There was a lot of fresh blood around the dresser now. I picked it up and turned it over and I found Pete…dead…Murdered…by Mark….


	17. Chapter 17 - Deja Vu (Too many left me)

Dr. Tomo grabbed my by the shoulders and got me out of the way as he examined Pete. Pete's eyes were wide open and pale white. I was frightened by the sight. I was frozen in place. Pete had apparently been dead for three days. When Mark knocked over the dresser Mark screamed in anger and when the dresser fell it stabbed Pete's dead body making the rest of his blood come out. Jared walked over to me and touched my shoulders.

"Jared, Tom, can you guys go to the dining hall for breakfast. I need to stay here for a while." Dr. Tomo said.

I could tell that Dr. Tomo was very upset. Pete had been in this hell hall for almost ten fucking years. I think Pete was almost cured. Why would Mark murder him? Would this send Mark to a maximum security mental institution? I was worried. I didn't want Mark to leave. No matter how much I loved Jared I couldn't handle Mark leaving me.

Jared lead me into the dining hall. Gerard and Frank were peering down the hall waiting for us.

"What happened?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, we saw Tom running down the hall. We saw you run down that hall. They dragged mark down the hall. He was sedated." Gerard added.

"Mark killed Pete." Jared said.

"What?" Gerard said shocked.

"Mark fucking murdered Pete three fucking days ago. Pete was doing so well. I think that's what Dr. Milicevic was going to tell us. He was going to tell us that Pete was going to be discharged. Mark fucking killed him." I said.

"Who is Pete?" Frank asked.

"Mark's roommate. Pete entered this place five years after this place started up. He was sociopath. He has panic attacks and insomnia. Pete didn't really even come out of his room except for food. He was getting so much better and was actually starting to talk to people like three months ago. Just last week he was sitting in the media room with Tre and Mike talking with them. I talked with him for a while the day before he was murdered. How could Mark?" I said.

"It's ok, Tom. Mark is sedated and then we can find out what they are going to do with him." Gerard said.

"I hope they don't transfer him. He is too soft for a maximum security mental institution." I said.

"He needs it. He murdered somebody and hid the body. Tom, no matter how you feel for somebody they need to take care of themselves first." Jared said.

"I'm not saying I had feelings for Mark. I'm saying I had just started to become friends with him. I don't want to lose another friend." I said.

"Another friend?" Jared asked as I put my head on the table.

"David was a good friend of his. So was Pete. There was Billie four years ago his deceased boyfriend, the reason he is here. He had a really good friend when he first came here. His name was Adam or Atom. He starved himself to death. He wrote a suicide note and Dr. Tomo found it the day he never woke up. The note said that Tom was the only reason he stay alive as long as he did. They came to this hell hall the same day. Apparently, Atom planned to starve himself the day when he came here but last two years before he couldn't take it anymore." Gerard said.

"Wow, That the bad thing about being in a mental institution. One day you could be friends with someone and the next they have a mental breakdown and hurt themselves or someone else. They will get discharged or transferred." Jared explained.

"Don't tell me, Jared, you have never thought of escape routes when times re rough." Gerard said.

"Yeah, I have but they were never death. I run from the dangers. They cause death." Jared said.

"Anyway, people coming and going is normal here. You have to learn how to deal with it. I would know. I have been here for almost seven years." Gerard said getting up.

Jared tapped my shoulder. I looked up. He was standing up and looking at me. "You go have fun somewhere. I'm going to go to my room for a little while." I said.

"Tom, if you need to talk I'm here for you. I know the feeling of losing someone you love." Jared said.

"I know that feeling too. This time it's different. This time it's a friend of mine murdering another friend of mine." I said getting up.

Jared just looked at me. I know he wanted cheer me up but nothing would do the trick except bringing Pete back. I got up and walked to my room. Jared walked beside me. I didn't say anything. Jared walked into the room with me. I sat down on my bed and started to take off my shoes. Jared looked around my room. He looked down on the ground. He picked up something.

"Is this your sister?" he asked.

I looked over and he had found a picture of me, my brother Shon, and my sister Kari, two weeks before Kari was murdered by Scott.

"Yeah, isn't she pretty?" I asked smiling.

"She's beautiful. She's so young." He said.

"She is six year's younger than me." I said.

"Do you miss her a lot?" Jared asked.

"All the time." I said.

"I'll let you have some quiet time." Jared said walking over to me.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled over down on the bed.

"Can you lay here with me for just a minute?" I asked.

Jared didn't say anything. I didn't want him to say anything. I just didn't want to be left alone. I started thinking about all the people who left me. Not just the patient I was friends with who died or left. I was thinking about Shon, Kari, Skye. I couldn't stop thinking about my parents. I know they thought I was crazy. They are my parents. I miss them. I didn't notice but tears started rolling down my face.

"Jared?" I whimpered.

"Yes?" he said softly turning his head.

"Do you miss your parents?" I said choking on tears.

"All the time. Do you miss your parents?" he said.

"They came on visiting day a couple of weeks ago. They didn't even act the parents I remember as. I hadn't heard from them in six years. I miss them so much." I said.

I covered my face with my hands. I hate it when people see me cry. I don't cry often. I have never cried over my parents. Just thinking about them before I was kicked out brought tears to my eyes because those were the good days.

Jared sat up and leaned over me. He gently touched my hands. He gently moved my hands from my face. His face was calm. He wiped the tears from eyes with his thumbs. He didn't say a word. He just got up and left. I just laid there.

I never went to sleep. I didn't' just lay there. I got up and walked around the room. I grabbed a notebook and pencil and started writing down stuff. It was just my thoughts that would never be spoken. I need them to be released. I couldn't hold them back. I was going to scream or blow up. I wouldn't mind if certain people read it but I needed to write so I did. It said:


	18. Chapter 18 - Who is next?

Dear to whomever reads this,

Let me say this loud and clear. This is not a suicide note. This is me venting what I don't want to say. I have been here four fucking years and have lost many friends. People think I'm crazy when I'm not. This guy Scott killed both my sister and Billie my deceased boyfriend. That's what sent me here. First Kari, then Billie, and David, and Atom, and Pete. Who's going to be next? Mark is probably going to be transferred. I don't want him to leave. I love him. I know I love Jared. Mark is stuck in my mind. Something about him keeps him in my mind. In the same way Jared is in my mind. I'm probably going to die in the shit hole. Gerard and Frank have each other and are always going to be together. Jared probably going to be in and out of this place. He isn't as messed up and broken as I am. I haven't seen the outside world in four years. Jared's only been here for a few weeks. I'm going to be here alone. Gerard spend all his time with Frank. Frank has only been here for the same amount of time as Jared. He probably isn't going to be here long either. That leaves me and Gerard. Once Frank leaves Gerard won't be the same Gee. He will be more than broken. He will be too broken to be fixed. Then I'm all alone. I'm too crazy to leave but no crazy enough to stay. I'm going to die alone…in this shit hole…

I gave up after that. I threw the notebook against the wall. I chucked the pencil across the room. I heard someone walking quickly to the room. I dropped to the ground. I crossed my legs and hung my head low with my hands at my face so no one could see me.

"Tom?" a voice said.

I didn't say anything. I didn't look up. I didn't know who he was.

"Are you ok, Tom?" He said.

I wanted to look up so bad but just could. Not yet anyway.

"Tom, look at me, please." He said.

I think is was Dr. Milicevic. I looked at and it was Frank.

"Frank? What are you doing here? Where is Gerard?" I asked.

"I heard a crash coming from this room so I had to check it out. What happened?" he asked.

"I threw a notebook at the wall." I said.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing is wrong." I said.

"Something is bugging you." Frank replied.

"Where is Gerard?" I asked.

"That doesn't matter right now." Frank said.

"Tell me where he is. Are you hiding something from me?" I said.

"I'm not hiding anything. Gerard wen to take a shower or something. He wanted to be left alone for a while." Frank said.

"I was writing or venting to get things off my chest. I got mad and threw the notebook." I said.

"It's ok to be upset. That's why we have feelings. Lunch has started. Wanna at least sit with me and Jared at lunch." Frank asked.

I kept my eyes on Franks eyes. Something about Franks eyes made me think that he wasn't in this place for what he said he was in here for. I needed to know. I wasn't going to ask him. Had Gerard found out when he looked at Frank information?

I got up and walked with Frank down the hall into the dining hall and sat beside Jared. He ate silently until Gerard joined us. Gerard wasn't himself. I think Pete welcomed Gee with open arms when Gerard came here. I think Pete was a really good friend of Gee's. Gerard was hurt pretty fucking bad about this. He probably wanted to punch mark's face in as revenge for what he did. Gerard wouldn't though. Gee won't hurt a fly, but he will hurt himself to get away from the monsters.

"How you feeling, Gerard?" Jared asked.

"Better, thanks." Gerard said.

What? What does Gerard mean by better? Did Jared and Gerard talk? Did they fuck? Was Gerard cheating on Frank? Was Jared cheating on me? What did they do? I had to know.

"What?" I mumbled.

"Oh, I talked with Gerard for a while." Jared said.

"Yeah, I told him stories about Pete. Since Jared never knew Pete I told him about him. It really helped." Gerard said.

"Thanks great." I said.

"Have you heard anything about Mark?" I asked.

"I think he is going to be put in solitaire confinement. Other than that I don't know." Frank said.

"That really put a damper on today. Do we have session today?" Jared asked.

"I think so. I haven't been in such a long time." I said.

I got up and walked down the hall to the session room and yes I was right we did have session. Jared, Gerard, Frank and I all got there right on time.

"I know this is going to be a different session without Pete being here. I would just like to say that he was getting better. He was talking with people. He was having conversations with other people here. We were going to release him and Mark today but due to unfortunate event we cannot. Mark is in solitaire confinement for a long time. He is not ill enough to be transferred but to ill to stay with other people at the moment." Dr. Tomo explained.

"Dr. Tomo I think we should reflection on the positive not the negative. For example: Christmas is coming up in a few weeks. Pete is in a better place now. Mark is better helped for his own good. He will be better." Gerard said.

"That's good way to think of it, Gerard." Dr. Tomo said.

"I think we should all do something for Christmas." I said.

"What do you have in mind, Tom?" Dr. Tomo said.

"Maybe having a visiting day and exchange in little gifts." I said.

"I think that could work. I will call whoever you want to visit." Dr. Tomo said.

Everyone threw out ideas. My idea stuck out the most and that's what we went with. It was stupid. Why did I say that? I basically just told Dr. Tomo to call my parents and tell them he want them to visit him. I need to get my mind off this.


	19. Chapter 19 - Visiting day part 2

A few weeks of mourning and Christmas was right around the corner. Today we are going to have visiting day. Mark was released from solitaire confinement yesterday. His hair was a mess and his eyes were pure insane. Nobody would get close to him. Not even me. I didn't know how messed up confinement made you. I was scared of him.

Jared, Gerard, Frank and I ate breakfast that morning and then walked over to the media room. Gerard and Frank sat together and Jared and I sat beside each other beside Gee and Frank. We waited to see our parents. Once parents started coming in we all got excited. Frank's parents came and Gerard and Frank talked with them. Gerard parents came even though they said they weren't.

"I'm so glad you came." Gerard said hugging hid mother.

"Dr. Tomo called saying that we should visit. We heard about Pete." Gerard's mom said.

"It ok. It's better than being in here." Gerard said walking off with his mother, father and Frank.

Just like a few days after Jared arrived here we waited for someone to show up. We didn't have to wait that long this time. My parents showed up. Ty brought someone with them. He looked familiar. I still didn't recognize him.

This time Mom and Dad were smiling. They had emotions on their face. Were they just putting up an act for that guy. They stop after the first door to enter. The nurse let them in. I slowly crept out of the media room and over to them.

"Tom. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I realized after we left last time that we really upset you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for thinking you were doing this for attention." Mom said.

"Who told you this?" I said.

"We have been getting calls about you from Dr. Milicevic for 4 years." Dad said.

"Then why did you ever show up?" I asked.

"Dr. Milicevic suggested to us that you weren't ready mentally to handle seeing us." Dad said.

"Why would Dr. Tomo do that?" I said.

"He told us that he didn't really know how mental stable you were because you skip sessions and when you do go you don't speak. It wasn't until this Jared Leto boy showed up that you have showed signs of improvement" Dad said.

"Why was it that you lied to me a month ago? Why were you so emotionless? Who is he? Why did you bring that guy?" I asked.

Mom and Dad turned around and looked at the guy. They looked back at us. "We were trying to make thing simple for you. Dr. Milicevic told us to seem vague for the first visit." Mom said.

"You don't remember me, Tom?" he said.

I shook my head.

The man walked in front of Mom and Dad. I took a step back. "Don't be afraid, Tom. You have to remember me. Think." He said.

"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are?" I said.

"Tom, it's Shon. Your brother. You have to remember me." Shon said.

"Shon?" I replied.

"Yes, yes." Shon said.

I walked over to him and hugged him.

"It's been so long." Shon said.

"Why did you never show up? I bet you knew I was here." I said.

"It was too hard. My mind just would let me accept that my younger brother was in here. After I just accepted you killing Kari." Shon said.

That took me by surprise. He thought I killed Kari. "I didn't kill Kari. I didn't kill Billie. I didn't try to kill myself." I said.

"Then who did, Tom?" Shon said.

"Scott. Scott killed Kari." I said.

"Scott has been dead for 15 years, Tom." Shon said.

I saw Mom put her hands over her mouth and Dad's eyes widen.

"What are you talking about? Scott's not dead." I said.

"You don't remember do you?" Shon said.

"What are you talking about? Scott's not dead. Ray warned me about a day that you would do this." I said.

"Tom, Ray is dead. He has been day of 15 years as well. You really don't remember." Shon said.

"They aren't dead. I know they aren't I see Ray almost every day and Scott wants to kill me." I said.

"Why does Scott want to kill you?" Shon yelled.

"I have something he wants. I don't know what he wants." I said.

"Tom, listen to me. Scott died 15 years ago. You and your best friend Ray hiked up to Scotts lake side cabin by yourself. You and him were five years old. I was with you and him. When we got the cabin Scott was there. I went to the bathroom. Next thing I know I hear a scream and a glass break. I run out of the bathroom to see a window broken and Scott nowhere to be seen. I looked out the window and Scott was lying face up, eyes wide open, mouth a gape, dead. I turned to you and Ray but Ray was not around. I asked you were he was. I asked you where was Ray and you didn't respond. I walked into the kitchen. Ray wasn't there. I asked you where he was again. You had a blank look in your eyes. The lights were on but nobody was home. I searched the house because if I lost Ray Mom and Dad would kill me. I walked into the guest room where you and Ray hang out and there he was…Dead. A piece of glass from the broken window stabbed into his throat. His eyes were wide open. I never told anybody that you killed them. I told people Scott fell down the stairs and we found the body. I told people that Ray was choking on food and I tried to make an air way but it didn't work. All while you stood there blankly." Shon said.

"They didn't die, Shon. You're making the whole thing up. I have never killed anybody." I said.

"You're not listening to me. I don't know how but in the time span of 30 seconds you managed to kill Scott and Ray. I bet you pushed Scott out of the window and stabbed Ray right after, leaving him to die when I got to him. How can you not remember?" Shon said.

"I don't remember because it never happened." I yelled.

"Then where did Scott and Ray come from?" Shon asked.

"Shon, stop. This is supposed to be a good time." Mom said.

Shon looked at Mom.

"I think you should go. All of you." I said.

"Good bye son. We promise we will visit more." Dad said hugging me instead of a handshake.

Mom cried as she hugged me. Shon walked over to me like he was going to hug. I step back and walked back into the media room where Jared was curled up in a ball waiting for me. His head shot up when he heard someone walk in. I plopped on the couch and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't kill anybody." I whispered.

"I know you didn't. Your parents want what's best for you. That means knowing the truth and get mental help. Even if it seems untrue no matter if you believe it not they are just trying to help." Jared said.

"I know." I said.

I just want what's best for you as well. I always have. You will learn that later." Jared said confusing me. I realized at the moment that his parents still hadn't shown up.

He was waiting for his family to arrive. Soon Gerard and Frank came back with Gee's parents. They all had smiles on their faces. I got up and walked over to Gerard and Frank. Gerard's mom walked over to me and hugged me. She was happy to see me doing well. Mr. Way shook my hand and they walked off. Gerard and Frank walked to the dining hall for dinner. I looked back at Jared. He was staring out of the window hoping…praying for someone familiar to walk into the building. No one showed up for him that day. That crushed him. He got up and walked out of the media room and passed me and in the opposite direction to the dining hall. He was going to his room. I decided to go on to dinner and give him some time to himself. Whyy did i do that?


	20. Chapter 20 - I should have went with him

"Where is Jared?" Gerard asked.

"He is upset that his parents didn't show. I wanted to give him some time to himself." I said.

"I'm glad my parents showed up. They said they wouldn't. They love Frank." Gerard said.

"That's great, Gee. It's almost Christ mas you know." I said.

"Yeah…what are you saying?" Gerard said.

"You have been here for 7 seven years the day after Christmas." I said.

"Thanks for reminding me." Gerard said looking down at his food.

"What the big deal about him staying here 7 years?" Frank asked.

"No one has stayed here that long. Yeah, Pete had been here for ten years. Now that Pete is gone Gerard has been here the longest. Usually people only stay here for two or three years at a time." I explained.

"It's not a big deal. It just means I am the most crazy person in this joint and can't be cured." Gerard complained.

"I'm probably going to die here, Gerard." I said.

"No you're not, Tom. The only thing that's keeping you're here is Scott and Ray. When was the last time they attacked you. A couple weeks…three months?" Gerard asked.

"Ray doesn't attack me. That's Scott. You should know this Gerard." I said looking around. That's when I saw him.

"Tom? We are over here." Frank said.

I was frozen in fear. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. Scott slowly walked over to me. He had a smile on his face. An evil smile. He had a broken piece of glass in his hand. I quickly stood up and ran around him and out of the dining hall. I ran into my room and shut the door fast but quietly.

I got on my bed and waited for Scott to come through the door. He opened the door and gently closed it.

"Hello, Tom." Scott said.

"What do you want from me?" I said.

"You should know, Tom." Scott said inching closer to me.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Leave me alone." I said curling up in a ball.

"Why has it taken you over 15 years to not know why I am here?" Scott asked.

"I don't know why you are here. Get away from me." I yelled.

"I'm here for revenge, Tom. I'm here for revenge for me and everybody else you killed." Scott said.

"I have never killed anybody. You are lying just like Shon." I said.

"You killed me, Tom. You killed Ray, Kari, and Billie." Scott said.

"You're lying!" I yelled.

"Why would I lie, Tom? I'm just old man Scott who lives in the old cabin by the lake." Scott said.

"I would never kill somebody." I said.

"Weren't you listening to Shon, Tom? He said that when he asked you where Ray was you had a blank face. The light were on but no one was home. Remember?" he said.

I closed my eyes. I shook my head. I covered my ears.

"Don't you understand, Tom? You killed me. You looked me right in the eyes with your blank face and shoved me out of the window. You dragged Ray into the guest bedroom where you always hung out and stabbed him in the throat leaving him to die with your blank face you stared at him. You strangled Kari to death. You had a blank face, emotionless eyes when you killed her. When you saw me when you were talking to Dr. Urie with Billie. You grabbed the gun you knew was under the couch and shot Billie. Ray puts on a happy face when he sees you. He is your best friend but is scared tp come close to you because you killed him." Scott said.

I still had my ears covered and eye closed. Scott yanked my arm down and took the broken piece of glass and dragged it down my arm to my wrist. I screamed. I pulled my arms to my chest and pulled my knees up. Dr. Tomo runs into the room. Gerard and Frank were peering into the room.

"What's going on, Tom?" Dr. Tomo said.

I wasn't listening to him. I had to see Jared. I got up still bleeding and ran to Jared room. I jiggled the door knob and it was locked. It was strange. Jared never locked his door. I kept knocking on the door. I heard something fall on the floor. I broke down the door. When I looked around I saw his body. I ran over to his bed where he was lying. I was getting my blood all over him. I was crying. I looked around and Scott was there.

"Are you happy?" Scott said.

"What are you talking about?" I said.

"Being framed for something." He said.

"Help, Jared is dying in here." I yelled.

Dr. Tomo came in shortly after.

"Jared?" he said patting Jared's face.

"He won't wake up, Dr. Tomo." I said freakking out.

"Was he like this when you found him?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, I broke down the door and found him like this." I said.

Dr. Tomo took my arm and wrapped it in gauze. "Let me see your eyes." Dr. Tomo said.

I looked at him. "You are you sure you didn't do this?" he asked.

"I didn't do this, Dr. Milicevic. I would never do this. No, I didn't do this. Please believe me this time, Dr. Milicevic." I cried.

I could tell that Dr. Tomo believed me. My eyes must have been concerned and fearful instead of blank.

"Tom, go get a nurse, an orderly or both, quickly." Dr. Tomo said.

"No need, Tom, Jared is dead." Scott said.

I ran down the hall. "Help, please, help! Jared is dying." I yelled.

Two orderlies and three nurse ran over to me. I ran back to Jared's room. They helped Dr. Tomo. Ten minutes later Jared was pronounced dead due to a suicide. The orderlies moved his body. I didn't leave his room. I walked around it. I looked at the pictures he had of his family in there. Dr. Tomo took a couple pictures of me and him a couple days ago and some a couple weeks ago. I took them, frame and everything. Even the pictures of his family I took to remind me of him before he was sent here. I laid on his bed. I put my hand under the pillow and felt something there. His suicide letter. I opened it.


	21. Chapter 21 - Jared put him up to this?

The letter was for me. Not Dr. Tomo or Gerard, Frank or anybody but it was for me. It read:

Dear Tom,

You probably found the note before anybody else…or I can at least hope. I want you to read this and only you. This not a spur of the moment thing. One can only take so much danger dodging in their life. I heard what your brother said. How he said that you killed Scott and Ray. That's why you they attack you…or Scott attacks you. That reminds me of Shannon. Shannon covered up for me all the time. Why did Shannon ever have to tell me about those fucking dangers. Gerard did teach me to always think positive. If Shannon had never told me about the dangers I would have never met you. Tom, you are probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm sorry I had to leave. I'll be gone for a little while. Take anything you want out of my room. Anything at all. It's all yours. Tell Gerard and Frank to not be sad for me leaving but happy for me starting a new beginning and finally getting away from the dangers. I can finally relax. I can honestly say Gerard, Frank and you are my best friends. Tell Gerard and Frank that I will be miss them and love them even if I just met them. Sometimes you can just tell that you love someone. Now Tom, I'm sorry you have to lose another friend. I'm so sorry. If you look under my bed you can find a picture book of me and my family and us and Gerard, Frank, you, and I, just a whole bunch of pictures. There is also some journals I kept every night. Enjoy them. I know I enjoyed writing them. Hang in there. Take it easy. Don't hurt yourself. I'll be looking out for you. Go after Mark. I know you want him. Don't wait to get over me. Go after Mark. Remember what you said about death? I lied. I thought about it all the time. Remember what Gerard said about an escape route? I had one. I about to go through it or when you read this went through it. YOU said you wanted to be buried beside Gerard. Place me under you, not beside you. That place is already taken. It was taken by Mark. I know that already. I'll see you in the afterlife. I love you, Tom. This, my friend, is me exiting Hazelnut Valley minimum security mental institution.

Love Jared Leto

I started crying half way through the letter. I folded the letter up and put it in my pocket. I just laid there with my eyes close and quietly cried. I heard someone walk slowly past the room. Then the footsteps got closer to me. Someone was walking into the room. I opened my eyes and Mark was standing there.

"Hi." Mark said.

I didn't say anything.

"I heard Jared commit suicide. I'm so sorry." Mark said sitting on the bed.

I sat up. "It was a shock. He seemed fine. We ate breakfast and sat and waited for our parents to show up and visit. Gerard's parents came. Frank's did as well. My parents came and brought along my brother. Jared's family didn't show up. He seemed upset. Right before he walked to his room he told me that he just wanted me to be happy. He walked in here ripped two of his shirts and tired one to his bed post and another around his neck tightly. He was propped on his bed post and sat up strangling himself. His eyes were wide open and his face was blue. Hi mouth was wide open. Why didn't I just walk with him to his room and talk with him?' I cried laying my head on Mark's shoulder.

It was probably pretty awkward for Mark because he didn't really like Jared in the first place. I was just glad someone came to me to see if I was ok. I'm glad he sat there and let me just vent.

"Tom?" Mark said.

"What?" I mumbled.

"Jared didn't go straight to his room when he walked away from the media room. He walked into my room wanting to talk to me." Mark said.

"I thought you guys hated each other. Why would he want to talk to you?" I asked.

"I thought the same thing. He told me that he was leaving for a while. I didn't understand what he meant but Jared told me that you really loved me. He could tell. He asked me why I killed Pete. I told him I don't know. He hit me. I told him the truth." Mark said.

"Why did you kill Pete?" I asked scared.

"Pete asked me to do it. Pete wanted to die. Jared wanted to do the same. I didn't murder Pete. I helped Pete with a suicide. Same with Jared." Mark said.

"How did you help, Jared? Why would you help Jared?" I said.

"I didn't want to do it. Jared came into my room begging me to help him after I told him what I did for Pete. Jared told me he was done running and hiding from the dangers and wanted to end it all. He told me that he had been thinking about ending it for many and many years. He thought that if he freak out with deadly weapons and maybe kill somebody that would send him to the death penalty. All it did was send him here. He told me that he really loved you and you were probably the best thing to happen to him. That wasn't enough to keep him from dying because he knew you loved me. Jared told me that I didn't have to do anything but help me tighten the knots and shut and lock and door. His last words were to tell he loves you." Mark said.

More tears rolled down my face. Mark was a nice guy. HE is the definition of too nice. That proves that if you're too nice you go to Hazelnut valley. He will kill someone to make them happy. I wasn't mad because Jared was done suffering.

"Jared was right." I said.

"What?" Mark replied.

"Jared was right about a lot of stuff." I said.

"Really?" Mark said.

"He told that my parents want what's best for me. If that means knowing the truth and get mental help, even if it seems untrue no matter if you believe it not they are just trying to help. Being in a mental institution, one day you could be friends with someone and the next they have a mental breakdown and hurt themselves or someone else. They will get discharged or transferred. He was right about me." I said.

"Really, how was he right?" Mark asked.

"I Really do love you. Something was telling me to stay with Jared for a little while because something bad was going to happen. I just realized what it was. I miss him and he will always have a place in my heart but I love you. Ever since the first day you arrived here with those crazy eyes almost two years ago captured me and I haven't stopped think about them." I said.

Mark just stared at me. "You don't want to love me. I'm a guy no one should love. I have hurt and killed too many people. I'm too nice." Mark said. "I would hurt or end up maybe doing some…." I interrupted by kissing him on the lips. I took him by surprise by he was glad I did. He really helped me get my mind of Jared. That's all I wanted him to do.


	22. Chapter 22 - Where is this place?

Mark walked out of the room. I stayed back. I laid on the bed and just looked around. I didn't really know why I was still in Jared's room. The longer I stayed in here that sadder I got. It was pretty late when Dr. Tomo found me.

"Tom, what are you doing in here?" he asked walking inside.

"I just can't leave yet. I'm not ready." I said.

"Are you ok, I know losing Jared is hard? Are you truly ok?" Dr. Tomo asked.

I didn't say anything. I was lost in my own world. Is this where I go when Scott attacks other people? Why do I go to this place? It's a very bad place. Ray is there, Billie, Kari, and even Scott is there. Anybody who is my friend is being tortured. It's not a happy place. Why do I go there? I was paying Dr. Tomo no mind at all. Probably if he touched me I would attack.

I was walking down a street with Ray. His face was blank. I passed Billie. He had a hole through the middle of his forehead. Ray had a hole through his neck. Kari walked pass us. Her neck had big bruises all the way around and her lips were blue. There was something unexpected there. Pete was there. He was sitting on the side of the road. He had a hole through his chest. I had no idea where Ray was taking me. We walked and walked. Scott was nowhere to be seen. We kept walking until we got to this house build directly in front of us. We walked inside. Right as I walked into the building the doors shut leaving Ray on the other side. I tried to open the door but they wouldn't move. I turned back around and Scott was there.

"Hello again." Scott said.

I didn't say anything.

"I have had a good day today. What about you?" he said.

"What am I doing here? What is this place? Why am I here? Where is Ray? Why haven't I known what this place was until now?" I spit out.

"Calm down, Tom. This is where you go to escape. This is where you went when you killed me, Ray, Kari, and Billie. This place has everyone who has died that you either murdered or were close to." Scott said.

"Why have I not known about this place?" I asked.

"I shoved it out of memory every time you went here. You would never remember being here. Enough with the questions. I have a friend here to show you." Scott said.

I didn't say anything. I knew he meant Jared. Not Jared. Scott was going to kill the memory of Jared from me. I just knew he was going to. I couldn't let him.

"Follow me, Tom." He said.

I walked slowly behind him into a small room at the end of the hallway. Scott opened the door and I walked in with him. It was Jared's room at Hazelnut Valley. Jared was lying on the bed just like the way I found him dead.

"You remember Jared, don't you?" Scott asked.

"Yes, yes, I do. You remove him from my memory please. I beg of you." I said.

"Oh, Tom, I wouldn't do that again." Scott said.

"What do you mean again?" I asked extremely confused.

"Of course, you wouldn't remember. Honestly I am impressed that you don't remember. You seem to remember a lot and yet you forgot this." Scott said.

"Up until the day Jared came here I have never seen him before ever." I said.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about Jared. I was talking about Mark." Scott said.

"What about Mark? I didn't know Mark until he came here almost two years ago." I said.

"Oh, you knew him way before YOU came to Hazelnut Valley. You knew him before Dr. Urie sent you here. You just don't remember." Scott said.

"How do I know him? I don't know another Mark. Tell me. What are you going to do to Jared?" I panicked.

"Tell me what the boy's name who saved you from the bathroom four years ago." Scott said.

"I don't know. I didn't know who he was. I had never met him." I said.

"That was Mark. You knew Mark from around school. He knew who you were that day but was to ashamed to tell the EMT your name. That day I shoved Mark out of your memory. Mark remembers you. You don't remember Mark." Scot said.

"You didn't answer my question about Jared." I said.

"Oh, Jared, I haven't thought of what to do with him yet. I think I have an idea but it would ruin the fun to tell you. I think you so go." Scott said.

Everything was moving away from me. I was going backwards farther and farther away from this place. I heard a loud muffled voice get clearer and clearer until…


	23. Chapter 23 - The Aftermath

"TOM! TOM!" someone yelled. "TOM! TOM!"

It was blurry but I saw Frank. He looked terrified. I looked around and saw Gerard staring at me on the floor. His shoulder was bleeding. I don't remember much. I ran into something hard and smashed it out of my way and a loud noise went off. A sharp pain hit my head and shoulder then nothing.

I snapped back into it. I wasn't in Jared's room anymore. My head hurt real bad. I looked down and I had little soft cuffs around both my wrist and I was lying in a bed not in Hazelnut valley. I looked around and Dr. Tomo was seating in the chairs beside the bed. He wasn't paying attention to me. There was another man in the room. He looked familiar.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh good, Tom you're awake. I'm glad to see you again. It's been a while." He said.

"Who are you?" I repeated.

"Don't you remember, Tom?" he said.

"You look familiar." I said.

"It's me, Dr. Urie. Your old therapist." Dr. Urie said.

"Dr. Urie?" he said.

"Yes, It's good to see you again." He said with a smile I haven't seen him give me since he started being my therapist.

I looked back at the restraints on my wrists. "Why do I have these on? What happened? Where am I? I didn't hurt anybody I swear." I panicked.

"Now, Tom, listen to me. You didn't kill anybody. You did hurt both yourself and from what Dr. Milicevic said a friend of yours Gerard. Don't worry. He is ok. He just has a few minor scraps and a deep wound on his shoulder. He will be fine. You on the other hand were banged up. You smashed through two glass windows with a fire extinguisher. You had to be tranquilized and you scrapped your head on broken glass pretty hard. You're going to be fine." Dr. Urie said.

"You're a therapist why are you treating me?" I asked.

"I'm not treating you, Tom. When Dr. Tomo called the EMT I was called as a primary contact. They didn't want your parents to worry that you had a minor step back." Dr. Urie said.

"You sent Frank to Hazelnut Valley like you did me." I said.

"How did you know about that?" Dr. Urie asked.

"Frank told me." I said.

"When did Frank tell you?" Dr. Urie asked.

"A couple weeks ago. Why was Frank put in here?" I asked.

"I can't answer that. It's personal information." Dr. Urie said.

"Why did you never talk about me when you were with Frank? Frank said that you talked about past patients you had but Frank said that you never said anything about me. Was I a patient you didn't want to be know that you treated and failed?" I said.

"No, No, NO, Tom, definitely not, I have had way worse than you. It seems that we misdiagnosed you, Tom. You Know that you are a Schizophrenia and self-destructive and paranoia. Well we have found a change in your diagnosis. It seems you have a mix of Schizophrenia and Shared Psychosis or Folie à deux and paranoia. That means you can have delusions that are shared between to people. That is where Ray comes from. You and Ray were good friends. Frank and Ray were good friends. When Ray died he went around to both you and Frank. I didn't want Frank to know that you and him had the same diagnosis. Understand." Dr. Urie said.

I didn't say anything. I understood. I wanted to stop listening. i just wanted to go back to Hazelnut Valley and apologize to Gerard for what did and just hope he will understand. I had never attacked Gerard. I never wanted to hurt Gerard. I wanted to ball up in my bed and cry to the pain away.

"Is Mark ok?" I whispered.

"He is fine." Dr. Urie said.

"When can I leave here?' I asked.

"We are waiting for the discharge papers right now." Dr. Urie said.

I didn't say anything. This wasn't the same Dr. Urie I talked to four years ago. I also wasn't the same Tom I was four years ago. I'm pathetic. I wanted to just get up and walk out but I couldn't because of the restraints and the fact that I couldn't last a day in the real world.

"After what happened last night we are going to stricken your rules." Dr. Urie said.

"You're not my therapist anymore. You can't tell what is going to happen to me at Hazelnut valley. Only Dr. Tomo can do that." I said.

"Tom, we have let you slid that last few times for a few months ever since Frank came here but you have to go by curfew and eat when you are told and can't skip meals. I don't care if you don't eat but you have to be in the dining hall. At 10 o'clock you are supposed to be in bed, lights out." Dr. Tomo said.

"I will, definitely. Did Gerard ask about me?" I asked Dr. Tomo. "I just want him to know I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm so sorry."

"He knows that you are extremely sorry. It wasn't on purpose. He knows that you didn't mean to hurt Gerard. He is not mad at you." Dr. Tomo said.

"Tom, it was nice seeing you again. I wish the circumstances were better but it was really nice to see you doing better." Dr. Urie said.

Better? I thought I was doing worse? What did he mean by better? If this is better how was I before?

"Come on Tom, we have to go back to Hazelnut." Dr. Tomo said taking the cuffs off me and handing me my clothes.

I quickly got them on and walked out with Dr. Tomo. "Dr. Tomo, what did Dr. Urie mean by me being better? Was I worse?" I asked.

"I wouldn't say you were worse." Dr. Tomo said.

"Tell me the truth, Dr. Tomo, I can handle it." I said.

"When you were entered into Hazelnut four years ago…you were barely allowed in here. You were put into three weeks of solitaire confinement before entering into Hazelnut Valley. We paired you with Gerard because he had already been here for two years and could handle a roommate that needed to be supervised." Dr. Tomo said.

"I was that bad in the beginning? How come I don't remember any of that?" I said.

"The first day you were sent here was in the middle of the day. It was around noon. You got all the way to the first door entrance and broke down. You knocked out an orderly. A nurse tried to sedated you but it never worked. We realized quickly that you were in the right mind. SO we tranquilized you. That first day I think we tranquilized you four times. An easy way to put it is think of Jared entrances to Hazelnut Valley times 10." Dr. Tomo explained as we pulled into Hazelnut Valley.

I was amazed of how much I didn't remember of my time here. Is that was Scott wanted? Does he constantly push stuff out of my memory? That bastard.


	24. Chapter 24 - My Happy Place?

The driver stopped in front of Hazelnut Valley. I could already seeing Gerard looking through the media room window waiting for me. His shoulder was bandaged. I didn't see frank through the window. Dr. Tomo opened the door and got out and then me. I slowly walked into Hazelnut. The saw looked at us and unlocked the door.

I turned and saw Gerard running over to me. "I'm so glad you are ok." Gerard said

"I'm so sorry, Gee. I would never hurt you." I said.

"You don't remember, do you?" Gerard said.

"What? What do I don't I remember?" I mumbled.

"Dr. Tomo found you in Jared's room and you talked with him for a moment but then you started talking to yourself. You got up and just attacked me until Frank pulled you off. By that time you had already somehow hurt my shoulder." Gerard said.

"I'm sorry, Gee. Where is Frank?" I asked.

"Probably eating lunch. I wasn't hungry. Come on." Gerard said pulling me down the hall into the dining hall.

I grabbed a small lunch. I looked around and saw two orderlies staring me down.

"So how was the outside world?" Frank asked.

"I don't know. I was tranquilized on the way to the hospital and had a 15 seconds moment of freedom. There was no difference in my opinion." I said.

"Why didn't you try to escape?" Frank asked.

"And get transferred? No thank you." I said.

"It was just suggestion. I know after four years you must have thought of escaping." Frank said.

"I know after your few weeks of you being here you must have thought about escaping." I retorted.

"Who hasn't? Why do you have a pole up your ass?" Frank asked.

"Don't say about me." I said getting right in Frank's face.

"Why are you so fucking angry? There is no reason for you to be angry." Frank said getting in my face.

"You don't know me. You have no idea." I said.

"STOP! Frank, Tom just lost his boyfriend and just got out the hospital. Chill out. Tom just because you are going through tough times you don't have to blow up at everyone." Gerard said.

I stood up staring at Frank and walked away. The orderlies saw me walking towards them and they started shaking their heads. I tuned and walked over to Mark's table.

"Hey." Mark said.

"Hi." I said.

"I heard what happened. How you attack Gerard." Mark said.

"I didn't mean to attack Gerard. I know Gerard said it's ok but I still think he is upset that I attacked after I told him I would never try to hurt him. Frank is all up in my face about some useless shit." I said.

"Frank is just upset that you hurt Gerard." Mark said.

"Why did you help Jared? If you didn't help him he would still be here." I said.

"Why do you think I was sent here? You think I was sent here just because I kill a few people and tell me they made me do it. That's true. Those people came to me because they wanted to die. Yes, I few people died who didn't want to. Those people I knifed wanted to die. Those three in the car wanted to die. The people who I shot didn't want to die. They were people who wanted to kill me." Mark said.

"I didn't know, Mark. I just want Jared back. I didn't even say goodbye. The last words I ever said to Jared were "I know." I wanted to speak with him one more time. I want him back just to be his friend not his boyfriend. I just want a guy I can talk too. Yes, Gerard is my best friend but he has been here so long and is so broken I can't really talk to him about personal things. It was different with Jared." I said almost in tears.

Mark just looked at me. He grabbed my hand as he stood up and made me walk into Marks room. He sat me on his bed. He flipped through his desk. He pulled at this little journal. He sat beside me.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's my journal before I was sent here. It goes back to seven or eight years ago. I remember one entry I did especially. It was fours years ago. You are in it." Mark said.

I looked away from him. I knew Scott told me he had shoved Mark out of my mind so I didn't remember him. Mark still remembered me. Probably farther back than I remember.

"There was the day I dragged you out of that bathroom, saving your life, but on that same day I met Jared Leto for the first time. I felt something weird about him. He was really different. Like he knew something. I didn't know what that something was but I could feel it. ON that day…the same day I saved you…Jared told me that in four years he would meet me again. He told to keep one promise. I nodded. He told me that in four years on today's date I would help him do something no matter what. I nodded and asked him what that something was. I shook his head and left. Jared knew he was going to do what he did before he even met you. He didn't love you. He just wanted to make worthwhile until he ended it all." Mark said.

I looked at Mark once again and slowly rested my head in Marks lap. "I felt something different about Jared. I felt like that if I didn't stay really close to Jared and choose him I would…he would…I mean I chose him because I felt that he wasn't going to be around very long. I just thought it would mean he would be transferred or discharged." I said.

I wanted Mark more than ever now. I wanted him but I didn't know if he would take me. After all I had done I wouldn't take me.

"I understand. Sometimes you do things because you feel it's right but really you just hurt yourself in the end. Fuck, no matter how much you believe something is not real they seem more real than before." Mark said.

"What?" I said.

"If you try to force something out of your mind you are focusing more on what you want to leave making it stay longer. If you want to get rid of it you have to get your mind sidetracked." Mark said.

I understood Mark the first time. I don't know why I said what. Maybe I just wanted to hear his voice again. I could feel Scott was near. I saw him peering into Mark's room. I Don't know what I did but Mark started putting his fingers through my hair and talking to me.

"If you focus on your fears of Scott they only get worse and he will attack more. Think of Jared. The first time you and Jared ever talked. Tell me. Tell me everything that happened." Mark said.

"Dr. Tomo told me about him and that morning he was wake and we talked. I walked him to the dining hall and he kissed me. Mark, Scott going to attack. He is going to kill me." I said.

"Stop thinking about Scott, Tom." Mark said.

"I can't he is right at the door. He is waiting to attack." I said.

"Shhhh…Tom. Tell me about your family. Talk to me about Ray. Ray is good right." Mark said.

"Ray…Ray…Ray hasn't talk to me in a while." I said.

"Tell me what that last conversation was with Ray." Mark said.

"No." I said.

"Come on, tell me." Mark said.

"It was about you or Jared. That's when I got the feeling I needed to be with Jared just for a little while. Ray always talked to me about different band, songs, people he talked too. He never told me the names of the people he talked to except when he told me he spoke to Dr. Tomo." I said panicking.

"Calm your breathing down. Close your eyes. Go to your happy place." Mark said.

I was out of it when he said happy place. I knew where I was headed…not again…


	25. Chapter 25 - Dead but alive in my mind

I was in the same place I was before just this time Ray was not with me. I walked straight and I hit the same building I did before. I walked inside but this time the doors didn't close behind me. I kept walking until I hit the room Scott led me into. It was still Jared's room. Jared was still laying on the bed lifeless. I walked over to him.

"Jared?" I said.

Nothing. Why was I talking to an imaginary dead person? Was there something inside me that was telling me that he would reply back to me? Was this my happy Place? I looked around the room and it was exactly like Jared's real room. I looked through every nook and cranny and everything was the same. I walked back over to Jared.

"Jared? Can you hear me? If you can move or something." I said waiting for a glimmer of hope.

I waited for a moment. Reliving this horrible moment of seeing Jared's lifeless body hanging from ripped clothing just made me angry. I was just furious that I had to see him like that. I wanted to scream. I actually tried screaming but nothing came out. I guess my happy stopped me from speaking. That sucks. The longer I stood there looking at Jared the angrier I got.

I finally had enough. I ripped the clothes attached to the bedpost. Jared's lifeless body flopped back on the bed. I untied the cloth from his neck and chucked it across the room.

"Jared? Please, talk to me. I don't want my last conversation to you be sad. I didn't get to say goodbye. Please, move or something to let me know you can at least hear me." I said almost in tears.

So my happy place I can cry but I can't scream. Fuck, my logic fucking sucks. I just kept staring at Jared.

"Come Jared. This is my imagination. Wake up. Please?" I said closing my eyes.

When I opened my eyes nothing had happened. Great. I toughed the side of Jared's face and started walking away from Jared. Something grabbed my wrist. I quickly turned around. Jared's eyes were open and he was sitting up.

"Jared?" I said.

"Tom, why are you here? Can't you see everyone else left?" Jared said.

"I came to talk to you just one more time." I said.

"I didn't want to talk to you one more time." Jared said.

"Why?" I said.

"This was a tough time for me. Stop thinking about me. I don't want to be alive. Can't you see I'm not right in the head?" Jared said.

"I don't love you, Jared. I love Mark. I always have. I love you like I love Gerard. I would die for you and Gerard. Something was telling me to be with you just for a little while. I knew you were going to do something to get you in a hell a lot of trouble." I said.

"I did love you, Tom. I'm not going to lie but you are the reason I didn't do what I did earlier. Don't ever think Mark is the reason I died. I knew Pete was going to die when he did. I heard Mark talking with Pete. Pete was begging Mark to kill him. Mark was refusing. I watching Mark kill Pete. Mark was crying. I didn't say anything. Mark caught a glance at me watching. I slowly walked over to me and told me not to tell anyone. I told him to remember his promise." Jared said.

"I am going to be with Mark. I will never stopping thinking you, Jared. Don't tell me what to do. I won't stop thinking about you because you changed my life. You remind me a lot of Kari. You made me forget. You made me focus on Ray and not Scott." I said.

"Why are you here? You only come here when Scott pulls you in here." Jared asked.

"I have no clue. I'm with Mark and I saw Scott. Mark started getting my mind off Scott and told me to go to my happy place and now I'm here." I said.

"Tom?" Jared said.

"What?" I said.

"I'll cut you a deal." Jared said.

"What?" I said.

"Scott's weakness is you thinking he isn't real. Mark forces you to think Scott isn't real or gets your mind on something else. If you see Scott around you, find Mark. I'll be there. I'll be looking after you only if you're around Mark. You understand. Scott isn't real. Ray isn't real. I'm not real. We are all just in your head. When you are with Mark stay with him. He will not let Scott hurt you. No matter how real Scott looks he won't hurt you. Only you hurt yourself. Mark won't let you hurt anybody or yourself. I'll be watching after you. Think of me and not Scott Mostly think of Mark. You gotta go." Jared said staring into my eyes.

"Will you sing sometimes at night to me…since you are in my head?" I asked.

Jared gave me a big smiled and nodded.

"Throw me that piece of cloth you chucked over there. I have to died again. I'm sorry but that's how things work in here." Jared said.

"Just don't be dead when you visit me." I smiled.

He smiled back. I chucked the cloth back over to Jared.

"Farewell, Jared Leto." I said holding the door handle.

"Goodbye, Tom Delonge." Jared tying the cloth around his neck.

I shut the door and walked down the hallway. I can't believe Jared Leto told me that Scott and Ray weren't real but in my mind. I know he had said stuff like that before but for the first time…I actually believed him. I finally realized that Scott wasn't real. I walked past Scott. He as yelling at me. I couldn't hear me. He tried to grab my arms and legs and tried to stab me and kill me but He was out of reach and I wasn't scared of him anymore. Things started to move quicker. I was getting out of here fast but I was walking normally. I opened my eyes and shot up on a different bed then I was in with Mark in Jared's room. I was in my room and Gerard asleep in his bed beside mine. It was the middle of night.


	26. Chapter 26 - Confrontation with Frank

It took me a second to catch my breath. I wasn't sweating. I wasn't shaking. I was calm. I turned and looked at Gerard. He was turned away from me. I didn't want to wake him. I don't know how long I was out. Just by how sore my body is I can tell I had been laying in the same spot for at least a whole day. I slowly got up and walked to the door and walked out into the hallway and towards the bathroom. It must have been really late because it was really dark outside and everybody was asleep except for the few night shift orderlies that I could see were in the media. I walked into the bathroom and peed like a race horse. I turned around and went to wash my hands when Frank walked through the door. He looked extremely tired. It was like something had been torturing him mentally for days. I waited for him. When he was finished he turned around and saw I was there.

"Tom? You're awake?" Frank gasped.

"Yeah. How long was I out? A few hours? A day? Two days?" I smirked.

"I don't know how to explain this to you, but you were out longer than two days." Frank said.

"I couldn't have been out longer than two days. I just have a few bed sores." I said.

"Tom, I'm going to be blunt you were out for longer than two days." Frank said.

"How long was I out for?" I said starting to get concerned/angry.

"Two and a half weeks." Frank said.

"That can't be true." I said.

"You don't understand, Tom. I don't want to explain anything right now. It's late. Just get some rest and we will talk later." Frank said walking out of the bathroom.

"No, Frank, Tell me now. I don't want to talk about this with the chance Gerard could hear it. I have hurt him too much. I already hurt him physically I don't want to hurt him anymore. I know damn right that you don't want to fucking hurt Gerard." I said.

"You were laying your head in Marks lap when it started. Mark told us you thought Scott was going to attack. You could see him. Mark talked with you to calm you down for just a moment. You stopped talking. Mark trying calling your name and stuff but you just had this blank stare. Mark thought you were going to attack somebody. Mark freaked out and got Dr. Tomo. Just stare blankly at Dr. Tomo. Something was strange. You were lying on Jared's bed but somehow with that blank stare you had you still seemed to have eye contact with one person. Dr. Tomo asked you if you could move or do something to show a sign that you could hear him. You slowly sat up and walked down the hall and stopped right in front of the dining hall. You walked into the dining hall and sat in your normal spot. Gerard tried talking to you. You didn't say anything, but you stared at him. He somehow got you to go to your room and lay down. After a week and a half of you night doing or say anything but something happened. Gerard told me all about it…I was somewhere else…" Frank said before I interrupted him.

"Frank, do you want to talk about this in your room, the media room, the floor, or something. The whole standing thing sucks balls." I said.

"Tom, you think everything is fine but it's not. Things aren't the same anymore. While I was gone for a while Gerard told me that you just randomly started screaming. Gerard didn't know what to do. I was gone, Jared was gone, you were the one screaming…he ran to Dr. Tomo. Screamed off and on for three days from what I've been told. When I got back you weren't in your room. You were sitting in the dining hall. I thought you were back. I walked over to you. You still had that blank stare. Gerard slowly walked over to me. Gerard was scared…terrified. You sat you're your chair for four days…you didn't move. You didn't eat, drink, or sleep for four days. I don't you slept at all for the two weeks you were out. On the five day of you sitting in that chair I dragged you to your room and laid you on the bed. You stayed there until you woke up." Frank said.

"So I didn't hurt anyone?" I said.

"You surely scared the shit out of us. You terrified Gerard to death. Dr. Tomo is exhausted. I am mentally exhausted after taking care of Gerard and watching after you." Frank said.

"I never asked you to watch after me. You didn't have to drag me to my room. You should have just left me in that chair. You're not responsible over me. All you have to do is look over Gerard." I said.

"It's because of your ass that made me go to solitaire confinement for a couple days." Frank said.

"How is it my fault? What did I ever do? From what you told me I didn't do a damn thing for two and a half weeks." I said.

"Because of you Gerard had a breakdown and broke and window and cut my side. I covered for him but the whole time I was in confinement I was scared you were going to attack, or something was going to happen to Gerard." Frank said.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Just get some rest. I've had enough. I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said.

"Not once have you asked about Mark. Not once have you asked about how he was doing. Why?" Frank asked.

"Why should you care? Why do want me asking about Mark? I have my reasons. If something happened to him you would tell me. I know you would." I said.

Frank looked down at the ground. He was hiding something. Had Mark died? Did he kill himself? Had I attacked him and no one was telling me? Was he transferred? Was he discharged?

"What are you hiding, Frank?" I asked.

Frank just looked at me.

"Frank? Where is Mark?" I said walking towards him.

"He was discharged shortly after you…shortly after you went out of it." Frank said.

"No, you're lying." I said backing up. I began to run. I wasn't tired. I ran to Mark's room. I turned the corner and quickly opened the door to Mark's room. Everything was cleared out. Everything was gone. I panicked. I Went through the drawers in the dresser and the desk. Nothing was there. Everything was gone. I sat on the ground and propped against the bed post. I pulled my knees to my face. I cried. The two people I loved were gone. I heard someone walk into Mark's room.

I looked up and Frank was standing there. I quickly covered my face to hide that I was crying. Frank walked over to me and sat down beside me against the bed post. Frank put his hand on my knee. I fell into his arms and broke down. I don't know if Frank hated me or really wanted to help me.

I think we sat there for hours. Frank gently rubbed my back and put his fingers through my hair. He didn't say anything. Neither did I. It started to get bright out. That's when I decided to get up. I looked at Frank.

"Thank you, Frank. Thanks for sitting with me. That meant a lot." I said.

"Tom, you are probably one of my best friends here other than Gerard. You would do the same for me. Please go get some rest. Skip breakfast. Nobody knows you're up. It's still really early. If Gerard finds out you're not in that trance he won't wake you. I'll ski breakfast as well. I'll tell you more about Mark being discharged later today." Frank said.

I nodded and walked quickly to my room. Gerard was still asleep. I realized quickly that I really was more exhausted than I thought I was because I hadn't "slept" in over two and a half weeks. When my head hit the pillow I was out.


	27. Chapter 27 - Am I cured?

"Tom. Tom. Can you hear me? Can you please give me a sign you are here and not somewhere else?" someone said.

I slowly opened my eyes and I saw Gerard standing close to my bed with hesitance in his eyes.

"Gerard?" I said.

"Thank God." Gerard said as he started to smile but now with fear in his eyes.

"Gerard, I will never hurt you. I promise. You don't have to be scared. I'm sorry I was gone for so long. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'm here." I said standing up fast and hugging Gerard.

He held me tightly. "I'm sorry, Tom." Gerard said.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked.

"I got Mark discharged. I was the one who got Mark discharged." Gerard said.

"How did you do that? Only Dr. Tomo is allowed to discharge people." I said.

"I was talking with Mark while Frank was gone and we must have been talking pretty loud and clear. Mark expressed to me that he wasn't going to let people use him or stomp on him anymore. No one could tell him to do something anymore. He had learned to say no. Dr. Tomo walked in. He took Mark away and by lunch Mark was sent out." Gerard said.

"Frank told me that Mark was discharged shortly after I left. He said he went to confinement because he was covering up for you. That was after Mark was already gone." I said.

"Frank was covering for Mark. Somebody found out the Mark helped Jared in killing himself. Dr. Tomo thought Mark murdered Jared instead of Jared killing himself. Frank covered for Mark and they sent Frank to solitaire confinement for having a breakdown." Gerard said.

I just looked at Gerard. We walked into the dining hall. To my surprise Frank was sitting in his normal spot already almost done eating. I sat down not hungry and Gerard grabbed breakfast and started eating.

"I thought you were going to keeping resting." I said.

"I thought you were going to do the same. But here we are." Frank said.

"When is the next visiting day?" I asked.

"Next week." Gerard said.

"I have something to tell you guys. I found something out while I was out of it. I have finally come to my senses." I said.

"What the hell are you talking about, Tom?" Frank said.

"Aren't we having group session today?" I asked.

"Yeah, but what are you talking about, Tom?" Gerard said.

"I have something important to tell everybody." I smiled.

"Is it good?" Gerard said.

"IN sense, yes, but in another it could be bad." I said.

"I hate bad news." Gerard sighed.

"Everybody does, Gee." I said getting up.

Gerard, Frank and I walked into group session right before it started.

"Well, look who is finally awake to join us." Dr. Tomo said with a big smile.

I didn't smile back. Today was a different group session. Mark was sitting beside Dr. Tomo with his knees to his face. Jared wasn't sitting right beside me sitting crossed legs like an Indian.

"Well, lets started this group session. Good news Mark was discharged and will be visiting one last time next visiting day and Tom is back with us today." Dr. Tomo said.

"Excuse me, Dr. Tomo. I want to interrupt you. I was something important to say." I said looking around. Scott was staring at me in the corner of the room. I tried to my ability to ignore him. "While I was out of it for those two and a half weeks I came to my senses. I have realized that I'm not crazy anymore." I said staring right at Scott.

Scott had a frown on his face. "Don't do this, Tom. Someone is going to die if you do." Scott said.

"Tom, what are you trying to say?' Dr. Tomo asked. "No one thought you were crazy."

"No, what I mean is that I know that…I know that Scott and Ray…I know they are just in my imagination. They aren't real." I said glancing over at Scott. He was on his knees. He was dying. I looked around the group and saw Ray smiling. Finally he can leave me peace.

"Well, Tom, That's good news. We will talk after session." Dr. Tomo smiled. I looked over at Frank and Gerard. Frank's eyes were huge and Gerard had tears in his eyes.

Other people talked and session was soon over. Gerard and Frank told me that they would be outside for a while if I needed them. They walked away. I started walking towards my room when Dr. Tomo stopped me.

"Tom, come to my office." He said.

I followed behind him and walked into his office and sat down in a chair as Dr. Tomo walked to t file cabinet and pulled out a file. My file.

"What did you want to talk about, Dr. Tomo?" I asked.

Dr. Tomo raised one finger signaling to give him a second. Dr. Tomo wasn't writing anything down. He wasn't looking at me. He stared at my file. Was he reading it? Was he judging me silently?

"Tom, why the sudden expression of you saying your weren't crazy?" he asked.

"I'm not crazy, sir. Scott…Scott isn't real…neither is Ray. AS much I wish it wasn't true but Ray isn't real. They are only a figment of my imagination." I said.

"Is it because Jared died? Is it because you want to be with Mark?" Dr. Tomo asked.

"You don't understand, Dr. Milicevic. When I was out of it I figured out that they weren't real." I said.

"Who told you?" Dr. Tomo said inferring that somebody I made up told me.

"Jared." I said.

"Before or after he died?" he said blandly.

"Before." I said not lying. Jared had told me before that he told Scott and Ray weren't real.

"Tom don't be tricking me. This is serious. You have a serious illness. You can't just wake after being in this trance for almost three weeks and say you are better. That's not real." Dr. Tomo said.

"Believe me, Dr. Tomo. I am better. I don't have to be here anymore." I said. Then something happened. I don't know who did it. I didn't do anything. I don't remember anything. I just remember him lying on the floor.


	28. Chapter 28 - Frank has a breakdown

"Dr. Milicevic? Is everything ok in there? I heard a crash." Someone said.

I stared at the door. I quickly hid and tried to stay as quiet as possible.

Gwen ran through the door. She screamed at the sight. Two orderlies ran in soon after her. They dragged Dr. Tomo away. Dr. Tomo was dead.

Once the coast was clear I ran out of the room and into the media room. I sat on the couch and buried my head in my hands. I kept glancing at the door thinking nurses or orderlies were going to grab me. Nobody came to me. I slowly walked to my room.

I sat on my bed and stared at the door. Gerard came through the door.

"There you are, Tom." Gerard said relieved.

"Is Dr. Milicevic dead?" I asked.

"What happened to Dr. Milicevic?" Gerard asked.

"Oh God! Oh shit! Fuck Fuck!" I said panicking.

"Tom, Calm down. What happened?" Gerard asked.

I just stared at Gerard when someone came to the door.

"Tom? I need to speak with you for a moment. You aren't in trouble." Gwen said.

I slowly got up and walked over to Gwen.

"Tom, what happened when you were in the room with Dr. Milicevic?" Gwen asked.

"I was talking with him…He fall to the ground. Is he ok? Is he dead? I didn't kill him. I swear I didn't." I panicked.

"I'm sorry, Tom. Dr. Milicevic has passed. You didn't kill him. He had a heart attack. We knew you were in there and knew you were hiding." Gwen said.

"Oh God. No. I caused his heart attack." I said.

"Why do you say that? He had a heart attack because he had extremely high blood pressure. Did you cause him to get extremely angry?" Gwen asked.

"I told him I wasn't crazy anymore. Ray and Scot aren't real. I realized that after that millionth time Jared told me before he died. Gwen do you think I'm still crazy. Shouldn't I be released?" I asked.

"That's not my decision, Tom. I'm sorry just hang in there for a few more days until we get a new doctor for you and he will read over your file and over the recent events that have been recorded and then we will discuss discharging you." Gwen said with a smile.

I walked back to my room when someone grabbed my arm and dragged me into the dining hall. It turned out to be Frank.

"What happened to Dr. Milicevic?" Frank asked.

"He had a heart attack in front of me." I said.

"Wow. I wonder who will replace him?" Gerard asked.

"Why would they replace Dr. Milicevic? People recover from heart attacks all the time." Frank said.

"Yeah, that's true but Dr. Tomo is dead." I said.

"No! That can't be true! People recover all the time! He is going to recover!" Frank yelled.

"He is dead! Dr. Milicevic is dead, Frank!" I yelled.

"Don't lying to me, Tom! You lie to everyone! Don't be lying to me now!" Frank yelled making no sense.

"What are you talking about?" I said.

"Ray told me you think he isn't real. Ray told me that Jared told you that he wasn't real." Frank yelled.

"They aren't real, Frank. They are all in your head. No matter how real they look or act they are all in your head." I said standing up.

"Don't tell me what is and isn't real, Tom." Frank said standing up as well.

"I'm done here." I said walking away.

"Where are you going, Tom. I'm not done talking with you. Ray told me that you still thought he was real." Frank egged on.

I ignored him and walked out of the dining hall and into my room.

I don't know what happened but there was lots of yelled and then everybody started running out of the dining hall and into the halls. I got up and walked into the halls with everybody. I saw everything. Gerard was trying to calm down Frank and then Frank went crazy. He hit Gerard out cold and ran down the halls yelled and shouting. He broke the glass window looking into the media room from the hall way. He had locked himself in the media room. His hand was bleeding pretty bad from breaking the glass. I walked up to the media room and Frank just stared at me.

Nurses and orderlies puled at my arms and legs but I climbed through the broken window over to Frank who was frozen in fear. His eyes were big but had a slight blankness to it. He was in a trance. Scott had moved onto him now. Frank grabbed my shoulders and lend me close to his face and he whispered in my ear.

"You, Me and Gerard are going to leave this place." He said.

"No. You can't do that to Gerard." I said.

"Why? I love him. I can't leave without him." Frank replied.

"He is too broken. He would probably have a panic attack and hurt himself or you, me or a random stranger." I said.

Frank turned his head and looked out the window. He slowly walked over to the window.

"Frank I know what you are thinking. You can't leave Gerard. I can't leave Gerard. If you leave Gerard would panic if we take him he would panic." I said.

"I know you want to see Mark. I just happen to know where he is living. He told me before he left. He wanted me to tell you that. I can't stand it here. Gerard is the only thing that is keeping me here." Frank said.

I was a little pissed off that I wasn't one of the reasons Frank was still here but then I thought he wouldn't be wanting me to leave with him.

"I have an idea but first I think you should cool off and relax so we can talk when people aren't staring at us." I said.

I turned and looked at the people staring at us.

"Sorry, everybody. Frank just had a breakdown. I'll take Frank to the infirmary for his arm. I'm sorry about the glass." I said pulling Frank out of the media room and down the hall. Gerard was close behind us.

"Meet me in the dining hall after curfew. Once checks are over. I will meet you there once I am for sure that Gerard is asleep." I whispered right as Gerard jogged over to us.

Frank nodded and I let Gerard walk Frank the rest of the way.


	29. Chapter 29 - On the run

I walked into my room and grabbed my book bag that I had brought the day I came here. I put all the clothes I brought here and then put the pictures and some of Jared's clothes I had took in the bag. I looked around and saw Jared's journal that he told me about in his letter. His letter was on the inside. I put it in the bag.

A few hours passed and I stayed awake watching Gerard get all comfy and fall asleep. I slowly got up and grabbed my bag. I opened the door and walked slowly to the dining hall making completely sure that no one would see us. When I got into the dining hall Frank pulled me aside and up against the wall quietly. I looked around and no one was there. I looked at him and he put a finger over his lips. He started walking out the dining hall and over to the media room. He had a plan.

He quickly opened the door and the three night shift orderlies looked at us. "Yes?" the man orderly asked.

"Yes, I'm Frank. That is Tom." Frank said.

"Hello. What do you what?" One of the lady orderlies asked.

"Um…I just wanted to let you know that Tre, Mike, and Gerard are still awake and they are all on the verge of a panic attack or breakdown. I would go check them out. You better hurry because they are the most high maintenance people in this place." I said.

"Why are you telling us this?" the other lady said.

"Well we are trying to make it easier for you. Tre is over in the west end by the dining hall, Mike is down the east end on the end and Gerard is in my room which is on the east end down a hall and to your left close to the end." I said.

"They are really hard to calm down when acting like this. Gerard won't listen to Tom. Mike and Tre only have a breakdown once in a blue moon and they are bad. I would hurry to get to their rooms. Since there is three of you and three of them I think you should split up." Frank said.

"You said Gerard was in your room, right?" the man said.

"Yeah, I'm going to stay in here for a moment." I said.

"Same with me." Frank said.

They looked at us for a moment and for that moment I thought we were found out, but when they started getting up there was a glimmer of hope. Then I realized that they were night shift orderlies. Therefore they don't know what's wrong with us and for all they know we were the harmless ones just trying to help, but they are truly and utterly wrong. What we were about to do would probably get them fired if we execute this perfectly. I was planning the whole thing in my head. From the looks of it Frank was doing the same thing.

They walked off and we shut and locked the door.

"When we break the door we sprint to the gate. There is a password on the gate. I managed to remember the password from the first day I came here. If they haven't changed it, it will be easy to get in. If they did change it I know there is a hole in the fence." I said.

"Why can't we just go through the hole in the fence? Wouldn't that be faster?" Frank asked.

"I want to use the entrance." I said.

I don't know why I am fighting over what way to escape. I think it was I wanted to leave the same way I entered.

"Tom, I think they changed after what happened with David. You didn't see it, but David tried to smash his head into the passcode. Let's go through that hole. I know the place where we can get some cash to pay for the train to get to Mark's place." Frank said.

"Fine, we have to go fast. They might be coming. Come on break the window." I said.

Frank looked at the glass and grabbed a shirt and punched the window cracking the wndow then take a chair and smashing the window to pieces. That set off the alarm. That's when me and Frank dashed to the hole in the fence. I kept looking behind me to see if anybody was after us. Frank was way ahead of me.

"Frank, slow down!" I yelled. He quickly got to the fence and opened it up and waited for me.

"Hurry the fuck up, Tom. They are probably figuring out we set off the alarm." Frank yelled.

I rushed over to the fence out of breath. I went through the fence and ran until we could run anymore. I stopped. I sat on the side of the road out of breath and sweating. I had not gotten this much exercise in years. Frank was doing fine, I think.

"Come on, Tom. We just have to go a little farther. Come on just a little farther." Frank begged.

"I can't run anymore. I'm all run out." I gasped.

"Come on, Frank. We have to go just down that road and take a left and it should be there a block down." Frank said sounding like it wasn't that far away.

I got my tired ass off the sidewalk and pulled all the energy I could to get me to this old run down gas station. Frank seemed happy so I stayed calm. I looked around and this place looked like somebody could just pop up and kill me.

"Frank, was is this place?" I asked.

"I know a guy who works here who owes me money. As of four months ago he still works here." Frank said.

I trusted him and we worked in. I forgot what the outside world looked like. The air smelt good. Fresh, and earthy. I missed that smell. I had been smelling the air filled with medicine and cleaning supplies.

"Bob! Bob!" Frank yelled.

"What? Who is there? What do you want?" this voice shouted.

"Bob, It's Frank. Where are you?" Frank yelled.

This man peered out of the back room. He had a big red beard. "Frank? Frank Iero?" Bob said.

"Yeah, Bob, it's me, how have you been?" Frank asked.

"I've been good. Who is this dude?" Bob asked.

"Oh, Bob this is Tom Delonge. Tom This is Bob Bryar." Frank said.

"Wait, Tom Delonge?" Bob asked.

"That's my name.' I said.

"You were sent to life at Hazelnut Valley mental institution like four years ago, right?" Bob asked.

I just stared at Bob. Frank laughed. "Yeah, man, I need the money you own me." Frank said all of a sudden getting serious.

"Um, why so serious?" Bob asked.

"Because we need money fast." Frank said.

"I don't have all your money." Bob replied.

"How much do you have?" Frank asked.

"I only have half. I need more time. Business here is really slow. I'm sorry. I can give you what I got. What do you need your money for?" Bob panicked.

"Give me the money you have. I will be back in a couple weeks. I need the rest by then." Frank said.

Bob frantically went through this drawer and handed frank a bag full of money. Frank smiled.

"Thanks, Bob. Nice seeing you again." Frank said walking towards the door.

"No problem." Bob smiled like nothing happened.

"Oh yeah, Bob?" Frank said.

"Yeah?" Bob replied.

"If anybody asked about me or Tom, you never knew us. You got that?" Fran asked.

Bob nodded and we walked out the gas station. It was dark out. It was pretty creepy. I hadn't been out of Hazelnut Valley in four years. It was scary enough in the late afternoon. At night this place is fucking scary as hell. I stayed close to Frank as we walked to the train station. Frank and I were officially on the run.


	30. Chapter 30 - Putting my trust in Frank

I think we walked for an hour in the pitch black darkness before we got into town. I kept looking behind me to see if anybody was following me and Frank. There was no one on the roads, or streets or in builds that I could see. All the businesses were closed. I had forgotten this town. I had been gone for too long. Four years of not seeing the city. The city had really fucking changed. It changed for the better. Frank knew this place like the back of his hand. He wasn't looking at any signs or down any street corners. He knew where he was going and how to get there.

"Frank, do you know where you are going?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know this place inside and out. I lived in one of these lofts in one of these buildings. Come on we have to get to train station. WE are probably going to be waiting outside for a few hours but we take off to the first train to Poway." Frank said.

"Where are we then? I thought you had the same therapist. That means you would have lived close by me." I said.

"Yeah, I have lived all over California. We are in close to the border of Mexico right now. We need to get a train to San Diego and then Poway. We will have to walk from there. I have the address right here." Frank said pointing to his pocket.

By the time we got to the train station the sun was starting to peak its way into the sky. We didn't have to wait very long. We had enough time to before getting on the train so I could find Mark's number.

"Tom, are you sure you want to call Mark. What if he doesn't want us to come?" Frank said.

"Don't say some like that, Frank. I have to see Mark. He is the only thing that is keeping me sane while we are out here in public." I said grabbing the pay phone and pulled out a quarter.

"I'm just saying. I'm being logical. You barely knew Mark. You expect him to let us stay there with him and he knows we escaped." Frank said.

"How much money do we got?" I asked.

Frank drug through his backpack and pulled out the bag of money. I drug through it.

"Since Bob only gave me half of what he owed me, my guess is a good 2 grand give or take a few hundred." Frank said.

"How the fuck did he owe for over 4 thousand dollars?" I said.

"I stole a couple thousands of dollars from my parents to help Bob with his rent, since the gas station job doesn't pay very well." Frank said.

"Well, shut up." I said when a voice came up on the phone.

"Hello operator." The voice said.

"Hello, yes, can I get the number from Mark Hoppus?" I said.

"Ok, alright, Mark Hoppus in Poway, California. Do you want me to patch you through to him?" she said.

"Yes, please, thank you." I said.

There was a dial tone and then I heard it was ringing.

"It's ringing." I smiled at Frank.

Frank gave a faint smile like that in the back of his mind he was happy that Mark could pick up the phone.

A man answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Mark Hoppus?" I asked.

There was a long silence. I could still hear breathing on the other line. I heard someone moving around.

"Hello?" I repeated.

"Who is this?" The voice said with a hint of anger.

"Is this Mark? Mark Hoppus?" I repeated.

"Answer that question. Who is calling me?" The voice said getting more angry.

"It's Tom and Frank from Hazelnut Valley. Tom Delonge and Frank Iero." I said.

"Tom? Is that you?" The voice calmed down. It was Mark. I found Mark Hoppus. I knew that Mark was ok.

"Yes, it's me. Um, Mark, do you think you could do me a big favor?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure, but first. How did you get a hold of a phone? Dr. Milicevic would never let you get a phone." Mark said.

"This isn't a very easy thing to say but Frank and I…"

"Don't tell me you left." Mark said.

"Mark we weren't discharged. We escaped. We are at the train station about to get on a train and head to Poway. We need a place to stay and lay low." I said.

"Sure, sure. Why did you escape?" Mark asked.

"I don't have anymore time to talk. Is that address you gave Frank correct?" I asked.

"Yes it is…when are you going to…" Mark said before the pay phone cut off.

"Fuck." I whispered.

"What happened?" Frank asked.

"The pay phone cut off. Mark said we could stay there. The address Mark gave you was correct. We should go." I said.

Frank walked over to the train we had to get on to. We handed the man our ticket and got on the train and about 15 minutes later we were on the move again. We were on that train for two hours before the train stop for us to get off. We walked over to the ticket counter and bought our tickets to Poway.

We would have to wait for an hours before the train would get there.

"Tom, do you think we will get caught and get sent back to Hazelnut?" Frank asked.

"Probably. I don't like to think about that. I will probably get transferred somewhere else. I'd probably be sent to Woodbury maximum security mental institution." I said.

"Well, I'm not going just let them take me if we do get caught. I'll be putting up a fight for sure." Frank said.

"I'm not going back to Hazelnut." I said not looking at Frank.

"Why not? At some point you will have to go back to see Gerard. You have to see Gerard." Frank said.

"No one can make me go back to the shit hole. If they want me there they are going to have to kill me first." I said.

"Don't say that kind of stuff, Tom. Mark is going to be waiting for us when we get to his house. He won't tell on us." Frank said.

"What if he already did? What if Dr. Urie and police officers are already there?" I said.

"Don't think like that, Tom. Calm down. Think about it this way. Mark is waiting for you. He didn't want to leave. He had too." Frank said.

I stopped talking. I was putting all my trust in Franks word. My gut feeling didn't feel right. I know I was going to be sent Woodbury. There was no doubt about it. I was hanging by a string when I attacked Gerard and crashed through the window. I was scared and worried that I was going to die.

"Tom?" Frank said standing up.

"Yeah?" I said standing up with him.

"We are 45 minutes away from Poway and a half hour walk to Mark's place. Nobody is going to be waiting on us but Mark." Frank said walking onto the train.

We sat on that train for 45 minutes before it started to move. I was sitting by the window. I watched the tree as we passed them. This didn't feel real. We hadn't hear any news about us gone missing. We hadn't seen any newspapers about us being gone. Maybe we were in the clear. Frank had fell asleep on my shoulder. He was exhausted. I wasn't tired, strangely. I hadn't slept in almost 24 hours. The train stopped and I woke frank.

"Frank, we are here. We have to leave now." I said nudging him.

He was startled but quickly calmed down and we grabbed our stuff and walked off the train and walked the half hour to the address Frank had in his pocket. It was a medium sized house in a small quiet suburb. I knocked on the door and we waited. We heard footsteps. Mark quickly opened the door.

"Mark!" I said as my eyes grew three sizes.

"Hurry get in here. I have to talk with you guys." Mark said seriously.


	31. Chapter 31 - All this way for nothing

"It's nice to see a familiar face." Frank smiled as Mark pushed us inside the house and sat us down on the couch.

"Tom, Frank, why did you escape Hazelnut Valley?" Mark said.

"we wanted to leave. Frank and I both agreed that we were sick of being in that shithole and watching all of our friends being transferred, discharged, or die." I said.

"Well, you guys are all over to the news. I am hearing that two patients from Hazelnut Valley minimum security mental institution broken through a window and broke through the fence last night. They were last seen leaving a rundown gas station. I'm surprised you guys were hunted down and found by now." Mark said.

"I thought you would be more happy to see us." I said.

"I am very happy to see y'all. I do have to say that you guys really fucked up this time. Since you came to me I might be sent back to Hazelnut." Mark said.

"You didn't call Hazelnut. You didn't call Dr. Urie or whoever the new doctor there is?" Frank asked.

"I had too, Frank." Mark said standing up.

"We came all this way just to be drug back to that fucking shithole. I'm probably going to woodbury." I said.

Mark looked at me. He shook his head. "No you won't." Mark said.

"What?" Frank said confused.

"I talked with Gwen. She said that you were going to be discharged tomorrow. You are going to have to spend some more time at Hazelnut but that won't be for long." Mark said.

"What about me?" Frank asked.

Mark was silent.

"Mark? What about me?" Frank repeated.

Mark didn't say a word.

"Say something, Mark. What are they going to do to me? Don't tell me they going to transfer me?" Frank begged.

Mark closed his eyes and hung his head.

"No, no, no, fuck, no. I will never see Gerard again. They can't take me away from him." Frank said breaking down.

I walked over to Frank, who was now on the ground, and rubbed my fingers through his hair and with my other hand patted his shoulder gently. I looked up at Mark, who was looking out the window.

"Frank, come on, sit on the couch and catch your breath and relax." I said helping him up.

That's when we heard cars pulling up. Mark looked directly at me. I looked at Frank. He was petrified. There was a knock on the door. Mark opened the door.

"Hello. You must be Dr. Urie." Mark said.

"Yes, I'm the new lead doctor as Hazelnut Valley, after Dr. Milicevic's…passing. You said Frank and Tom are here." Dr. Urie said.

"Yeah, just through that door." Mark said calmly.

A few seconds later I saw Dr. Urie walk through with mark right behind him.

"Hey, Frank, Tom." Dr. Urie said trying to keep calm.

We were both silent. Now that I know I would only stay a little while at Hazelnut Valley then be discharged I was fine with going back and spending time with Gerard. I'll be able to say my goodbye's to him. I think Frank's opinion changed about the subject. He was not going to go to Woodbury. He would rather die.

"Tom, did you know that you were supposed to be released tomorrow?" Dr. Urie said.

I nodded not looking at him but looking at Fran and then Mark.

"Gwen and I decided that if you just spend a year or two at Hazelnut Valley we will discharge you." Dr. Urie said.

I nodded.

"Tom, can you tell me something? Can you look at me?" Dr. Urie said.

I looked at him and nodded.

"Why did you leave?" Dr. Urie asked.

"I was sick of being in that place day in and day out. Doing the same thing every damn day. I'm sick of routine. I want to smell fresh air and be able to walk anywhere. I want to be trusted. I don't want to smell medicine or antiseptics. Everywhere I turn in that fucking place was nurses, blank white walls, no freedom, and death." I said.

"well, if you come with us you will only have to spend up to two more years in that "Shithole". What do you say?" Dr. Urie said.

"Two more years. After that you are going to be dealing so much legal shit that you will be up to your balls." I said.

"You got a deal." Dr. Urie said patting my shoulder.

"Frank?" Dr. Urie said.

Frank didn't look at Dr. Urie.

"Come with me, Frank. We are taking you back." Dr. Urie said.

"No. You're going to take me to Woodbury." Frank mumbled.

"It's for you're on good, Frank. You put Tom in danger. You were just released from solitaire confinement for a week. You have put lots of people in danger. Mostly Gerard." Dr. Urie said.

I was confused. Frank would never hurt Gerard.

"I never hurt Gerard. I never put him in danger. I would never do something like that. I love him." Frank said.

"Frank, you don't understand how serious this is." Dr. Urie said.

"You are letting Tom go to Hazelnut Valley just for two years and then be released." Frank said.

"Frank, Tom had been at Hazelnut for four years with major improvements and was about to be released anyway." Dr. Urie said staying calm.

Frank stood up and ran into the kitchen. Dr. Urie, Mark and I ran right behind him. Frank grabbed the first sharp thing he could.

"Frank, you don't know what you are doing." Dr. Urie said.

I looked at Frank for a moment. I stared right in his eyes. There were no emotions in his eyes anymore. His face and his mostly his eyes were blank. Then it dawned on me.

"Stop, Dr. Urie Frank has the same diagnosis as me. He can't hear us. It's like he doesn't know we are here. He is in another world. His attacker is in the room with us." I said.

"Are you crazy, Tom?" Mark asked.

I stared at Mark. Dr. Urie started walking towards Frank. Bad idea Dr. Urie. Then it happened.


	32. Chapter 32 - I Promise

Dr. Urie was on the his knees. He was panicking. Mark's eye were big. Mark had seen this happen twice before and had done it to many others. I was freaking out on the inside but was trying my hardest to stay strong on the outside so the whole room would stay calm. I was trying so hard tears were rolling down my eyes. Why? Why did I put that idea in his head?

"Frank? Frank? Guys, I still feel a pulse. A faint one but I have one." Dr. Urie said to the two doctors in the house that came with Dr. Urie as back up. They rushed over to Dr. Urie. Frank's eyes were wide open and staring right as me. I knew he was still alive when he blinked at me. He moved one finger slowly signaling me to come over to him. I slowly walked over to him and got on my knees. I leaned over and looked at him. He was crying. His eyes were filling with tears and his breaths were extremely short and choppy.

"Come closer, Tom." Frank whispered.

I leaned closer. My ear was almost touching Frank's lips.

"Tom, I love you like a brother. When you get back tell Gerard I love him and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Frank said choking on his words.

"I will, Frank. I will. I love you too, buddy. You don't have to be sorry. Everything will be over just a little bit. Whoever was attacking you will be gone." I said with tears building up in my eyes.

"It was Scott. I saw him too, Tom. You probably don't remember. Me, you, and Ray went to Scott's house with your brother. When we got to the place me and Ray went into the guest room. I peered out of the guest room. You were rubbing your temples with your eyes closed. When you opened your eyes you walked over to Scott who walked out of his room surprised and glad to see you. You weren't smiling you weren't blinking. Wouldn't stopping or hesitating you pushed Scott out of that window. I closed my eyes after that. I couldn't believe what happened. You quickly walked towards me and shoved me out of the way. You jabbed Ray with that piece of glass and then turned and looked directly at me. You walked passed me and into the living room. I climbed out of the window and that haunted me every day. I figured you didn't remember because you weren't there. Then Ray showed up one day told me about you and what he talked about with you. Then Scot joined. He was yell at me at night and attack me as well with you. I'm sorry I never told you. Put my grave under Gerard. Bury me under Gerard. I want to be under Gerard, beside Jared and diagonally from you. Tell Gerard I'm not hurting anymore. Tell him that everything is going to be ok. Tell him I love him to death and he isn't the reason for this. I…I love Gerard…so much…I want…I want him to know that…will..." Frank didn't close his eyes.

Frank didn't finish his sentence. He didn't have too, but he just drifted away. I watched him take his last breath. I watched him die. I buried my head on his chest.

"No, Frank! Don't go! Gerard needs you to stay strong! He is too broken to see another one die!" I yelled as loud as I ever had before. It scared Dr. Urie and the two other doctors. Mark walked away and curled up on the couch with his eyes wide open stare out a window. Tears were rolling down his eyes.

"Tom. I know you are hurting right now." Dr. Urie said. "But…how about you go sit on the couch with…um…Mark?"

I didn't move from Frank. My knees were right on the spreading puddle of blood. I slowly closed Franks eyes and ran my fingers through his hair. I wiped the tears from Frank's eyes.

"Tom, we knew this was going to happen sooner or later with Frank. He wasn't as strong willed as you are, Tom." Dr. Urie explained.

"I understand that Dr. Urie. I really do. I just can't leave him right now. I just can't." I said.

"Nobody can't be ready for death. I'm sorry he did that. Just go lay down on the couch with Mark and then once we get Frank out of here we can talk about this." Dr. Urie said.

"No, Gerard will never forgive me. He will be blamed me for killing his love. Gerard would go as far as that damn institution will let him after seven fucking years." I said.

"Tom, Gerard won't blame you for anything. The longer you stay here the sadder you will be. I remember when your parents hired me for you right before Kari died. You did the exact same thing with her. You sat there and didn't move for three days. By the time we finally got you to move away from her you were a different person. I could barely get two words out of you until you moved in with Billie. You need to rest. Let Mark calm you down." Dr. Urie said.

I stared at him. He nodded and patted my shoulder. I slowly got up. Pants had dried blood as well with my forearms, hands, and probably my face. I walked over to mark. He had sat up and was waiting for me. When I got close enough he opened his arms out for me. I sat down beside him and looked at him. I put my head in his lap like I did the day Jared died. Tears rolled down my face. He ran his fingers through my hair and slowly rubbed my back.

I laid there and watch Dr. Urie and the two doctors dragged Frank's lifeless body out of Mark's house. The two doctors, who I didn't know the names of, drove Frank somewhere they could prep the body. If Dr. Urie knows anything about Frank, he would know Frank would want to be buried at Hazelnut Valley beside Jared, above Gerard, and diagonally from me. I had to tell him.

"Frank wants to be buried under Gerard. He wanted to be under Gerard, beside Jared, and diagonally from me. Dr. Urie can you do that from him. It would be something to help Gerard." I said

"I will tell the two doctors who took him." Dr. Urie said taking out his phone and walking into the other room.

"Mark?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I dragged you into this." I said.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm you came to me. I'm really glad you are here. I'm sorry I said anything about Frank." Mark said.

"I don't want to go back to Hazelnut." I said.

"You won't be there for long. I will visit every visiting day. I promise." Mark said tracing an eight on my forehead.

"Can you come with me? Can you please just come along to Hazelnut with me and Dr. Urie?" I said.

"I wish I could but it's an almost three hours to drive all the way there. I'm moving this week, closer to Hazelnut Valley to be closer to my family who had moved closer to Hazelnut to be closer to me. The next visiting day is in two weeks. I'll be there on that day, I promise, no questions asked.

"You better be the type of guy who keeps his word to his boyfriend." I said.

There was moment of silence.

"What did you say?" Mark asked.

"You better be the type of guy who keep his word to his boyfriend." I repeated.

"Boyfriend?" Mark smirked.

"Yeah, boyfriend." I turned my head up looking at him.

He had a huge smile on his face. His whole face was turning red.

"All along I thought you love Jared and I was just the rebound." Mark said.

I slowly sat up.

"You wanna know what the first conversation I had with Jared was?" I said.

"What? He had eyes on you the moment he saw you." Mark said.

"He knew that I was thinking about someone else…you were that someone else. Wait? How did you know the first time he saw me?" I asked.

"Right before he got sedated. He was stared at you the whole time. I know you couldn't tell because of how he was acting and flailing everywhere but he was staring right at you." Mark said.

Dr. Urie came walking pretty fast. "Tom, we have to go now. Something might be wrong at Hazelnut Valley."

"What's wrong?" I said.

"I got a call saying that someone was sedated and put in solitaire Confinement. I was told that someone isn't doing a well in confinement. We have to go so I can talk with him to calm him down." Dr. Urie said walking out of the door.

I looked at Mark.

"Go on, I will see you in two weeks. I promise." Mark said standing up as I did.

I kissed mark and walked over to Dr. Urie.

I got in the car with Dr. Urie.

"Who is the person in confinement?" I asked.

Dr. Urie was quiet. He didn't say a word until we were out of the neighborhood.

"Dr. Urie who is the person in confinement?" I repeated.

He didn't say a word.

"Brendon. Who is the person in confinement?" I said knowing who it was. Who else could it be? I just wanted to hear Dr. Urie say it.

Dr. Urie took a breath. He glanced over at me. "Gerard."


	33. Chapter 33 - I was going to have to wait

We had driven not even five minutes and already the trip turned into pure terror.

"How long is the drive to get to Hazelnut?" I asked.

"Don't worry, Tom. Gerard was going to be sedated right after I called them. That give us a couple hours of him not hurting anybody or anything before we get there. Everything is going to be ok." Dr. Urie.

"I know Gerard and he is going to blame someone for this. How am I going to tell him that Frank is dead? How am I going to tell him that even if Frank was alive he would be at Woodbury? Gerard has been to Woodbury before. It's not a friendly place." I said.

"Gerard has been to Woodbury?" Dr. Urie asked.

"That's where he was before Hazelnut Valley. They downgraded him when he showed major signs of improvement. They moved him to Hazelnut the moment he was just barely well enough to be sent here. He has been pushing that line for years. Gerard is a guy who tied himself to a tree, covered himself in gasoline and lit a lighter. Solitaire confinement will do no good." I said.

"Well, Tom there is nothing we can do right now. WE are about two and a half hours away from Hazelnut. Let me call Hazelnut and see if they sedated him." Dr. Urie said.

I grabbed Dr. Urie's phone for him and found the contact that was label Hazelnut Valley.

I put my ear to the phone. It rang three times before someone answered. The head of the nursing staff, Sarah, answered. I have encountered Sarah many times. She is very nice and Pretty and sweet.

"Brendon?" Sarah asked.

"No this is Tom." I said.

"Why do you have Dr. Urie's phone?" Sarah asked.

"Dr. Urie is taking me back to Hazelnut Valley. Is Gerard ok?" I asked.

"Tom, did Brendon tell you what was going on with Gerard?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, he did. WE are about two and a half hours away from Hazelnut Valley. Is Gerard ok? Did you sedate him until we get there? Is He is solitaire confinement? Is he hurt? Is he in a bad mood? Please, I wanna know, Sarah." I said.

"Gerard is sedated. He is going to be in solitaire confinement for a while until he has calmed down. He will be pleased to see you again after that not so happy thing last night. Tom, can you explain something to me?" Sarah asked.

"If it's why Frank and I left it's a long story." I said.

"No, why go to Mark's house. Mark was just released. You know Mark. He just wants what's best for you." Sarah said.

"Mark does want to best for me. Mark is nice, kind and sweet guy. He is the one who really pushed me into coming to my senses. We went to Mark's just to get on our feet. Frank and I were going to stay there just to lay low for a while and then we were going to be off again." I said.

"Tom, tell me the truth why did YOU go with Frank to Mark's house?" Sarah asked.

"I wanted to see Mark longer than just a few hours. I wanted to be with him." I said.

"Well, I will see you in 2 hours. Can I talk to Brendon?" Sarah asked.

"Sure, see you later." I said handing the phone to Dr. Urie.

"Hello? Tom is fine if you can tell. He is in a little bit of shock. Frank passed. Tom has strict orders about the placement of his grave. He says that him and Gerard going to be together Jared under Tom like he is right now, Frank under Gerard and beside Jared. On the other side of Jared is Pete, Mark will be above Pete beside Tom. Do you understand that? Good, Frank should be arriving in an hour or so. See you in two hours. Bye." Dr. Urie said.

"What do you think of Sarah?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Dr. Urie said.

"Do you like her?" I said.

"I just met her. She is probably the same age as you, in her early twenties." Dr. Urie said.

"You're lying. You didn't just meet her. You have known her. Tell me the truth Dr. Urie." I said smiling.

"Tom, if you think I like Sarah then you are wrong. She is a nice young lady. It's different with Sarah." Dr. Urie said.

"Quit lying, Dr. Urie. You know her. You like her." I said.

"Alright, Tom you caught me. I do like Sarah." Dr. Urie said with a smile.

I looked at Dr. Urie. I looked at his hands. I stared at his left hand ring finger. There was a ring on that finger. Dr. Urie was married.

"Dr. Urie. You are a married man. You can't like Sarah if you are a married man. That's would be cheating." I said.

"Yes I am a married man but I am not cheating on my wife. I love Sarah to death." Dr. Urie said.

"I have never met your wife, Dr. Urie." I said.

"Yes you have." Dr. Urie smiled keeping his eyes on the road.

"I have never met your wife, Dr. Urie. I swear I haven't." I said.

"Have you been going to Hazelnut Valley minimum Security Mental institution?" Dr. Urie asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"Then you have met my wife." He answered.

"What is the first letter of her first name?" I asked.

"S" Dr. Urie said.

"There is no nurses at Hazelnut with the first letter S other than Sarah…except Steve." I said.

"Tom, listen to me. I have a wife, a girl, who works at Hazelnut Valley as a Nurse. To make it even more clear, she is the head of the nurses staff." Dr. Urie said.

"What are you saying?" I said very confused.

"My wife is Sarah. I am married to Sarah." Dr. Urie said.

"Why didn't you just say that before and not make it seems that you had a thing going on with Steve?" I said.

"What am I going to do with you, Tom?" Dr. Urie sighed.

I smirked and then we went quiet. We drove in silence the rest of the way. I saw the gate entrance to Hazelnut Valley. I saw the broken window where me and Frank escaped. The building got closer and Dr. Urie parked and then opened the car and ran around and opened the door for me. We walked through the first door and looked through the glassed nurse station window.

"Hello, Gwen, I'm back with Tom. I need to see Gerard. Is he awake?" Dr. Urie asked.

"Let me talk to you in private Dr. Urie." Gwen said.

"Gwen call me Brendon. Alright just let me in with Tom." Dr. Urie said.

She unlocked the door and Dr. Urie stopped me.

"Tom, I will come and find you and take you to Gerard." Dr. Urie said.

"Something is wrong. Something is really really wrong. Something is wrong with Gerard. Take me to him. I have to see him now." I said as I dashed down the hall where solitaire confinement hallway. I search down each one way window until I saw Gerard's name on the door. I looked through the window. He wasn't in that room. I turned towards the doctors who were chasing after me.

"Where is he? Where is Gee? What have you done to him? Tell me. Tell me what you did with him." I yelled. Dr. Urie was the first one to get to me. The next people over to me were Sarah and Gwen.

I burst into tears. I fell to the ground. I looked at Gwen and Sarah. "Where is he?" I whispered.

"Gerard tried to commit suicide in the solitaire confinement before we could sedated him." Sarah said.

"You said he was sedated and fine. You lied." I said.

"We had to make sure you were going to get here safely. But don't get worried. Gerard is fine. He will be fine. He just knocked himself unconscious. He will be back from the hospital in two days. He is on suicide watch. Dr. Urie will stay at the hospital until he gets back. Then you can talk with Gerard. Dr. Urie will tell Gerard you are fine. We won't say anything about Frank until you get to talk with him." Sarah said helping me up.

I was going to have to wait.


	34. Chapter 34 - waiting two weeks

Those two days went by so slowly. All my friends were gone. I think that was the quietest I had ever been. I talked to nobody. Nobody tried to talk to me. I stayed in my room and only came out to eat. ON the day Gerard came back I was waiting for him in the media room.

I saw Dr. Urie's car pull up to the entrance. Two orderlies came up to the car door as Dr. Urie walk over to open Gerard's car door. He had a bandage around his head. His eyes were pure insane. Gerard wouldn't come out of the car. The orderlies grabbed him and dragged him out. As they got closer and closer to the entrance I got closer and closer to the door. The orderlies dragged Gerard through the first door and he saw me. His eyes lit up and he smiled. They let him in and I stood there in front of him. Were they going to take him back to solitaire confinement?

They let go of him and Gerard fell into my arms in tears. Tears of joy.

"Gerard I'm so happy to see you." I said.

"Why did you leave me? I thought you didn't mind it here." Gerard said.

"Frank and I talked it over and we were fed up with the normal routine. We were too afraid to take you with." I said.

"I'm glad you were thinking of me. Now where is Frank? He is probably looking for me. Since he wasn't waiting for me." Gerard said looking around me.

"Come with me Gerard. I have to talk to you. Let's go to our room." I said.

He nodded his head and we walked into our room. I sat him on his bed and I knelled down and looked him right in his big round eyes. I was about to cry. I had to keep a strong face for Gerard.

"Gerard, something happened to Frank." I said.

"Was he transferred?" Gerard asked like he was prepared to hear the Frank had been transferred or released.

"He was going to be transferred but something happened." I said.

"Like what?" Gerard sadi still with a smile.

"There is no easy way to say this, Gee, but, um, Frank killed himself." I said.

Gerard's face went blank. He didn't say a word. I knew he wanted me to explain.

"We were at Mark's house. Dr. Urie came and told me that I only had to stay here for at least a year. Frank didn't have such good news. They were going to transfer him to Woodbury. He ran into the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed it right into his chest hitting his left lung and stabbing his heart. He lived long enough to tell you that he loved you. He doesn't want you to worry. He isn't hurting anymore. You know the grave placements we have. Jared is under my spot. Frank is going to be under you. Mark beside me and Pete under mark. Frank says it's not your fault at all. If it wasn't for you he wouldn't have lasted as long as he did. He loves you to death." I said about to break down in tears.

Gerard didn't speak to me after that. Once again nobody was speaking to me. Gerard and I would sitting together at our table but we didn't speak. Was Gerard mad at me? Well two weeks passed and visiting days arrived. I got to see Mark.

I sat in the media room right after breakfast. Sure enough 15 later Mark was walking up to the entrance. They let him in and he walked straight to the media room. I ran up to him and hugged him. He kissed me.

"How did Gerard take the news about Frank?" Mark asked right away.

"He hasn't spoken to me in two weeks." I said.

"Well, let him have his space." Mark said.

"I have been. So have you moved in to a house close by?" I asked.

"I have. It's been half an hour from here." Mark said.

"That's awesome. Have you gotten a job?" I asked.

Our conversation went on like that until the orderlies told us visiting was over. He left saying he would be here next month. He said he loved me. I would never see Mark again after that. He did show up next month but I wasn't there.

I walked to the bathroom and turned the shower water on. I let it get warm for a moment. I striped down and got in the shower. It was the same shower I was in with Jared and the same shower I same Jared from the dangers. I closed my eyes and just remembered the good days. I could hear someone walk into the shower room. I thought someone was going to take a shower. I kept my eyes closed and started thinking about that song Jared was singing in the shower that one time. Jared wa singing to me in my head.

My back was facing the outside. I felt like something strange was around me. I felt weird. I felt something right behind me. Before I was able to turn around someone grabbed my chin and the back of my head. He whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry, Tom, I love you." He said.

It was Gerard. Before I could say anything he twisted his arms real fast and everything went black. I was dying. Gerard broke my neck.


	35. Chapter 35 - The End

Next Month

I walked into Hazelnut Valley like I did just a month earlier. Dr. Urie was standing at the door like he was waiting for me.

"Hello, Dr. Urie. Nice to see you again." I smiled.

Dr. Urie wasn't smile. He looked like he was about to cry in front of me. I walked passed him. The nurse let me in. I looked down the hallways and Tom never came to greet me. I looked in the media room to find him. Tre and Mike were in there but Tom wasn't, neither was Gerard. I walked down the hallway towards Gerard's and Tom's room. Gerard's side had been cleared out. Tom's side was cleaned and everything was put into stacks. I found the bag that Tom had brought when he escaped. It had some of Jared's clothes, pictures, and Jared's journal. I kept looking around the room. Dr. Urie was standing in the doorway.

"Mark?" HE said.

"Yes, Dr. Urie?" I asked.

"Please, call me, Brendon." He said.

"what is it, Brendon?" I asked.

"Tom passed. Gerard was transferred." He said.

I froze in panic. I couldn't speak. I was terrified. This couldn't be real. I had just saw Tom and Gerard a month earlier. My moth dropped to the floor. I could feel tears build up on my eye lids.

"Tom was taking a shower shortly after you left and Gerard came up behind Tom and snapped his neck. We looked through Tom's stuff and found a note he had wrote after Pete died. He had added on to the note after Jared died and then right before he escaped and once more. It's written to you. Take what you want. Take your time. His grave is right where he wanted it to be. He is right above Jared and diagonal from Frank." Dr. Urie said.

I looked around once again. I looked over at his desk. I saw a notebook there. I walked over to it and opened it. HE had drawn a few pictures. There was a picture of I think Kari, Billie, Atom, David, Pete, Me, Dr. Milicevic, Frank, Gerard and himself. In that order. On the next page was a picture of him and Jared. Under it, it said best friends. Next page had Gerard and Tom, it had friends forever under it. The next pages were Dr. Tomo, Frank and Gerard, then the notes Dr. Urie was talking about.

Dear to whomever reads this,

Let me say this loud and clear. This is not a suicide note. This is me venting what I don't want to say. I have been here four fucking years and have lost many friends. People think I'm crazy when I'm not. This guy Scott killed both my sister and Billie my deceased boyfriend. That's what sent me here. First Kari, then Billie, and David, and Atom, and Pete. Who's going to be next? Mark is probably going to be transferred. I don't want him to leave. I love him. I know I love Jared. Mark is stuck in my mind. Something about him keeps him in my mind. In the same way Jared is in my mind. I'm probably going to die in the shit hole. Gerard and Frank have each other and are always going to be together. Jared probably going to be in and out of this place. He isn't as messed up and broken as I am. I haven't seen the outside world in four years. Jared's only been here for a few weeks. I'm going to be here alone. Gerard spend all his time with Frank. Frank has only been here for the same amount of time as Jared. He probably isn't going to be here long either. That leaves me and Gerard. Once Frank leaves Gerard won't be the same Gee. He will be more than broken. He will be too broken to be fixed. Then I'm all alone. I'm too crazy to leave but no crazy enough to stay. I'm going to die alone…in this shit hole…

Jared died. He wanted to die. Mark helped him. Jared isn't hurting anymore. That's good. Ray was just telling me that I needed to be with Jared until Jared left. I was apparently out for two and a half weeks. Gerard is getting more and more broken. I don't want to be here anymore. Mark is gone. The love of my life is gone. He was released and I wasn't there to say goodbye or that I loved him. He doesn't know that I love him. I never stopped loving him. I want to leave this fucking place and never come back. Hope someone brings it up before I do…

Frank suggested we break out. I agree with him. I had to see mark. Frank knows where Mark lives. Mark gave his address to Frank. I'm going to leave with him. I have to see Mark if it kills me. I will see Mark no matter what. I have to tell Mark that I love him. HE is mine and nobody elses. I am not crazy. Scott and Ray are not real. I realized that. I don't have to be in this fucking shit hole anymore. I'm going to break loose with Frank. The only bad thing is that we are leaving Gerard. He has to understand that he is too broken and hasn't seen the outside world in seven fucking years…

Frank killed himself and Gerard hates me. I just want to die. I don't want to be on this earth anymore. Nothing is keeping me here but Mark. I love Mark too much to leave him. Please, God, help me. I can't wait two weeks to see Mark knowing that Gerard could kill me at any moment. To whomever reads this…I love you…Mark I love you. I know you are reading this. I love you. Gerard is going to kill me. I know Gerard. He is going to murder me and then get transferred. In the words of who I admire…Jared Leto… I am Tom Delonge. This, my, friend, is Hazelnut Valley Minimum Security Mental institution.

Love, Thomas Matthew Delonge

I couldn't stop crying. I sat in the chair by the desk and cried. I turned the page and saw Tom had drawn one more picture. It was dated the day I came to visit Tom a month ago. It was a picture of me and him. Under that picture said "My boyfriend, my love, forever". I turned the page one more time. It was one more note. Tom wrote that last note minutes before he went to take that shower. Minutes before he would die. He knew he was going to die. The last note read:

Mark,

You just left, Mark. This is the last note I am going to right. I know that sometime today i am going to leave. I'm going to see Frank again. I'm going to see Dr. Tomo, Jared, Pete, Atom, and Kari. I get to see Kari. My little sister. I miss her so much. Gerard hates me to the point where he wants to kill me. I can read it on his face. I hope you read this. Do you like the picture i drew? I have a lot of free time. I'm going to go take a shower. I have a bad feeling about taking this shower but i need to take one last shower before Gerard kills me. I don't want him too, but i know he will and then he will get transferred back to Woodbury. Gerard is too broken to change his mind. You won't see this until I'm long dead. I love you Mark Hoppus. I sneaked into Dr. Urie's office and read your file. THey are write you aren't crazy...Anymore. Have a nice life. Take whatever you want. I love you, Mark Allen Hoppus.

Love, Tom Delonge.

I grabbed the backpack that had Jared's stuff in it and out the notebook in there and some of Tom's clothes I remembered him wearing. I took the picture of his family and the rest of his picture. I think I took four trips back and forth before I got everything I needed. The rest I didn't care for. I walked outside and over to the graves of my friends. There were tons of flowers over his grave. Everyone loved Tom. How could you hate Tom? He didn't nothing wrong. Only if someone knew what was going on in Gerard's mind before killing Tom. Only if someone knew…


End file.
